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Edited by Recon Number 54:
1/24/2015 6:59:59 PM
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It's tricky, isn't it?
There are plenty of things that ethically, legally or just common-sense that one "shouldn't do" when intoxicated (or at least it's frowned on by society).
Driving.
Operating heavy machinery.
Agree to a legally binding contract.
Work,
and so on.
Most of them revolve around the idea that the intoxicated person (or persons) have impaired judgement/abilities and as a result, they should not engage in actions that could reasonably harm themselves or others.
Sex CAN fall into that category (where the lack of judgement could allow someone to ignore a risk and do something that they otherwise might not do) and so, society (as well as individuals) have to grapple with the situation and all of the various ways it can occur. While it's tempting to come up with a simple "if this, then that" sort of rule or law on the matter, the subtle variations and wide possibilities of the situation make a "this is always bad" statement to be..... unrealistic and inflexible.
Sex is so simple and yet so tricky (even without intoxication involved) and the risks/benefits are so subjective that all I can say is that I do my best to know that it is mutually consensual and that I will "wait or pass" if that's not 100% established. But being intoxicated? Despite my lofty "standards of conduct", I've made some incredibly stupid, risky, dangerous and harmful decisions while "under the influence". And then had to accept responsibility for my actions, face the consequences and accept the outcomes. Such is life when you choose to "let go of your control".
English
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Sometimes sex is the same as operating heavy machinery. =p
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Got to love the fatties lol
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Very much agree with this
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Recon The Wise hath spoken
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Edited by Ebola: 1/24/2015 8:00:17 PMYou're a wizard and I have proof.
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Such. Long. Reply. Head. Hurt.
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Sorry. I try to be concise, but always fail at the attempt.
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Edited by Deleted User: 1/24/2015 7:58:46 PMMy question is if you are both intoxicated and she says you -blam!- her? Couldnt you just say it was the other way around? I always fogured if you were sober its not ok to take advantage of someone drunk. But if Im wasted and she is too its pretty hard to say you were -blam!- when you willingly as a female decided to get flatout drunk and go home with this dude.
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That, to me, is a obvious and clear risk of having sex with someone who is intoxicated. That I can't accurately judge exactly HOW intoxicated they are, whether or not they are going to remember whether or not they consented, or if they are so impaired that their consent is something that is unreliable. It's not a certainty, but it is a risk. Just like it's not 100% certain that DUI is going to harm someone, it is a risk and it is a higher risk due to the intoxication. I've been in the situation where I've decided that she (or I, or both of us) were "too wasted" for me to trust our decision making abilities. And when in that situation, just like not getting into my own car, I chose to say "let's leave our clothes on and see how we feel when we're a little more sober or when we wake up". Of course, there is the situation where one/both parties are so drunk that they decide to not make the decision I gave in the paragraph above. In that case, they are both at a very high risk of making poor choices and if they do, they will both face the potential consequences of those poor choices. The risks that come from being intoxicated and having impaired judgement are incredibly increased when there are 2 people who are similarly impaired. And with those increased risks, the potential outcomes and consequences are even MORE serious and potentially harmful/dangerous.
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Also helps not to drink at all like I do as it will kill me:)
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Agreed completely. But from a legal standpoint it more or less becomes ones word over another right? Because both parties are intoxicated both committed in a way sexual assault to each other. So they both get charged and go to jail? Im not sure of American policy Im Canadian.
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The woman will always be believed and the man will always get in trouble. Unfortunately that's how it is in america.
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So, knowing that such a situation (taken to a worst case scenario) would put me into serious jeopardy and risk my liberty and put me in danger of serious criminal charges.... that would be a HUGE motivation on my part as to "where I draw the line" and decide to not take the risk or to allow myself to become so intoxicated that my judgement would be impaired to the point where I might ignore that risk. I know that drinking and getting into a car has risks. If I knew that drinking and then getting into a car when the roads are icy is even MORE of a risk, I would (while I was still sober or on my way to being intoxicated) make doubly sure not to allow myself to get to the point where I would be more likely to make such a doubly-risky (and dangerous) choice.
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Edited by Deleted User: 1/24/2015 8:21:35 PMIn America do these cases become fairly one sided towards females if this is the case? And yea Drinking and driving at a young age has delayed my policing carear, good thing we all make mistakes when we are young and a pardon system erases those mistakes.
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I can't (or won't actually) make a generalized statement over what is (at least to me) a clear case of "each occurrence is different due to the people involved, their motivations, their levels of intoxication, their personalities, their actions, their decisions, etc." I can't (and again, won't) speak for anyone but myself. While I am sober, I think about the potential situation, try to know and understand the risks and dangers involved. Then, if I do start drinking, I've pre-considered the potential situation and if I find things headed in that direction, I do my best to make the better/best decision I can despite my impaired ability. I can't decide for anyone but myself when risks outweigh benefits. When someone else is involved, I can't always judge their ability or reliability to make their own decisions regarding our individual and shared risks. So I have to take that into account.
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Fair enough. Good answer.
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Yeah, right. Our #gynocentric society will [i]always[/i] favor women, and view the man as a demon.
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Yea, if a female even claims -blam!- the guys is screwed. Happened to a buddy of mine it was sad that he had no chance.
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Edited by cxkxr: 1/24/2015 8:12:41 PMSame type of thing happened to me, except it was regarding assault. One mere false accusation by a woman, and you're -blam!-ed with years of court and thousands of dollars worth of fees. Fk that. Mgtow.
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Your name isnt paul b is it?
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No, just a fan of Ron Paul haha
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Ok fair enough.
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It is not good to have sex drunk with stranger
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Nonsense it's great!
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While it is true that I can agree with that statement and see its logic, I also know that I've (on occasion) ignored such good advice and it was (fortunately for us) very rewarding and turned out well. However, just because I was fortunate to have (mostly) good and positive experiences when I chose to ignore that advice, it doesn't mean that the risks and dangers weren't there. I freely admit that it could have had very different outcomes due to the risks that I/we were taking or ignoring.
