Not bad. I have two things I would recommend: 1. One of the most important essentials to a story is substance. And that's applied to all elements of a story: Characters, settings, events, objects, lore (past, present, and future), etc. I'm not saying your piece is necessarily lacking. It's a new endeavor, so i'm not judging your depth. That can only be determined after the story gets so far, but keep in mind that you're here to tell your character or characters' story. People won't be drawn into a puddle, so focus on the account's depth. 2. A more localized note, but not insignificant in the least, unless you're writing a short story that will begin and end with the sole purpose of establishing the foundation of a larger future work, don't give plot events out to the reader before it happens. I'm specifically talking about where you say Bill would end up loving Aurora. By revealing that future event now, you essentially tone the experience down when it actually happens. And even if you were to throw some plot twist in when it happens, it would still have much more impact if you saved the telling of the event when it actually occurs. That's about it though. Keep in mind, i'm just trying to be constructively critical here. Stay at it and write for self satisfaction before reader satisfaction. Not to take anything away from wanting readers to enjoy your story, but too often I think authors write for readers more than themselves. It should be a gratifying experience, so as long as you're enjoying it, don't give up.