The other day I was sitting at home, not feeling too well. I felt a sort of nausea and decided to look into it. I don't know what it was, but I had some [i]Bad Juju[/i] about it.
So today I went to visit my doctor, [i]Doctor Nope[/i]. He's a great physician, and also quite [i]The Comedian[/i]. I'm not so great at [i]Icebreakers[/i] but thankfully I didn't have to talk to anyone in the waiting room.
After some waiting, I received [i]The Calling[/i] from the receptionist that the doctor was ready to see me. I told him how I was feeling and that also my [i]Scrota[/i] felt odd recently. So he gave me a physical, using his [i]Hard Light[/i] inspection tool to see closely. Sadly, the [i]Truth[/i] was not good.
The doc told me that I had been ridden with desticular cancer. How could this be? Well he told me one of the symptoms was playing too much Destiny and getting a [i]Red Hand[/i]--I had two. He said the [i]Strange Suspect[/i] as to what might have caused this was a lack Guardian Tears for the week.
How to treat this became a real issue. Left untreated, it could turn into a [i]Swarm[/i] of infections that would ultimately be fatal. [i]The Chance[/i] of surviving would then be low.[i]Patience and Time[/i] would not be enough here, but rather it would take some [i]Prudence[/i] for this matter to be dealt with.
The doctor gave me his [i]Super Good Advice[/i] and suggested a [i]Corrective Measure[/i]. He told me [i] The Cure[/i] would be to use a [i]Purifier[/i] that he could provide me with. I gave him my thanks and went on my way.
Thanks to [i]Doctor Nope[/i] it looks like I will be on my way to recovery rather than succumbing to [i]The Fate of All Fools[/i]. I'm just glad I didn't have to resort to [i]Plan C[/i] and tell him that I got shot with a [i]Thorn[/i]....
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After reading this I got Acquired Italics Disorder. Maybe with a little [i]Patience and time[/i] it'll go away
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I think I will follow you goof sir. Better by far to listen to jokes from The Devil You Know then a stranger you don't.
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"Scrota felt odd recently" Lol
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*drops Mic*
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You sir, are a true master. You have [i]become legend[/i] in the world of jokes. No pun intended... -Michael
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Pun tastic 10/10
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Real nice.
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"You should write for hallmark"
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The puns are strong with this one.
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+10 Internets
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Edited by Cobalt: 11/12/2014 9:07:45 PMI get [i]hives[/i] any time I get near [i]Dr. Nope[/i]. +100 awesome faction rep
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Not only are you an idiot, but making jokes about diseases that kill millions of people isn't funny. You're just a pathetic sloth with no real value in existence. Perhaps if you had cancer you'd be too concerned about that to crack dumbass video game jokes
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Edited by Ez: 11/12/2014 7:50:45 PMkudos
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I love it hahaha lmao
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Tl;dr
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10/10 would read again. Btw I just recently decided to try Dr. Nope and he's a fast and furious one, so fun!
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Awesome. +1,000
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Edited by Haku: 11/12/2014 5:36:03 AMWhere's the satire I can't find it I'm feeling very [i]A.1F19X-RYL[/i] right now.
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This post made me Minotaurded
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No Suros Regime? BOOOOO!!!!!!
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Edited by imc347: 11/12/2014 4:42:02 AMDid someone spout [i]Invecitive[/i] at you when you mentioned Destiny? And wasn't there a TV in the waiting room with a [i]Universal Remote[/i]?
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Is [i]Doctor nope[/i]'s hospital in [i]Monte Carlo[/i]?
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Give this man an exotic weapon!
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I really like this post, very clever. Made me feel very...[i]Zombie Apocalypse WF47[/i]. Am I doing it right??
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Wow such pun