Following the tragic news of the murder of Aksor the priest Hive News must now sadly report another this time of famed public speaker and pie eater Phogoth the untamed. Phogtoh was murdered in the early hours of Thursday morning in the famed hive club “The summoning pits”.
Trouble apparently started when an altercation broke out between the two Hallowed knight doormen and three guardians. The Guardians said they were looking for “strange coins” to which the doormen replied “we have a strange coin free policy and would lose their license if found dealing them”. This lead to the killing of both doormen, who were both knifed by the Hunter of the party, there were also traces of gold on the scene, the cause of which has not yet been determined.
They then proceeded to interrupt a private party where Phogoth was enjoying his weekly chaining session. What followed was a massacre of the party goers including his 3 bitches (these actually turned out to be witches), 10 knights, famed Orge Juan Rooney and Acolyte Poster boy Anthe Murray.
The Guardians denied doing anything wrong as they said the hive were dirty pervs and got what was coming to them. Hive religious leader Desmount three three had this to say “Although this might appear strange to Tower race members this is a deeply cultural thing to our people and is the equivalent of your date night. Have you never seen Klingon’s on Star Trek?” The crucible declined to comment.
Also coming up the trial of Cryptarch Rahool “the glimmer man” Gonzalez enters day 3. And tonight sees the cosmadrome concert in memory of Aksor the priest and benefiting the fallen fallen. Due to the wonders of cloning we can really now say Chaka Khan, Chaka Khan as there are two of them. Finally the man who got a 0.00000001 KTD ratio on the crucible and got Moonraker Laser. More on that later
English
#Destiny
-
Dude make a blog. Add some random screen shots and enjoy millions of hits. That's some great writing.
-
I wish I got a notification for everyone of these you post.
-
Veteran Hunter explains why fallen shanks are fun to shank. Stay tuned for more info.
-
You should see the news report on the Cryptarch with two Exo Females.
-
The ending. I fvcking died.
-
These are so freaking funny! Love them. I'm a writer myself, and I appreciate the stories, though there were some grammatical errors that can be overlooked.
-
can you make more? ive never felt like reading books ever, what you write makes me want to actually read
-
Please don't stop making these, you are honestly one of the best threadmakers on the forums. Good job
-
So thats why phogoth was tied up. I didnt know the hive were into bondage.
-
This. Bump.
-
Yes, I feel like when you bust in on phogoth all chained up with dudes milling around him that you just interrupted something REALLY weird. The embarrassment is then multiplied as your fireteam proceeds to shoot everyone in the face. We must all learn from these tragedies. #neveragain
-
You should do one on the Loot Cave, I hear there are tons of Guardians there shooting at endless amounts of Hive. It's truly a massacre there. I take part in this ritual, it's very brutal but the rewards are endless
-
The Guardians got call about some overweight orge that was being chained up in The Summoning Pits after a through investigation and seeing "Phogoth the untamed" the Guardians attempted to free him when they were fired upon by locals in the area after the gunfight the Guardians freed Phogoth when he suddenly attacked his liberators attacking a guardian on duty is a captial offense. get ur facts striaght LOL
-
Another great post. Keep it up!
-
lol Looking forward to more exclusives, kudos!
-
Don't forget about Xyor, the "unwed." Xyor's wife is going through a very emotional part of her life and she has gotten worse, realizing that no on had mentioned her beloved Wizard husband.
-
I wish that there was a way to follow people, because this guy is awesome.
-
A concert in the Cosmodrome, eh? C'mon fellow guardians! Looks like we have our next target! Hopefully it's the Servitors playing. I love their lead singer, Sepiks Prime. But if he refuses to sign my knife then I'll sign it myself...In his blood!
-
Guardians are very rude.
-
I heart these posts :) keep it up fellow guardian
-
Thank you sir may I have another
-
Edited by DarkChildOfLight: 9/19/2014 9:33:31 PM
Started a new topic: Guardian Bounties Now Available!
-
Hahahahahahahahahahaaa!!!!
-
amazing...
-
Keep us updated on this breaking news!
-
Great way to start my friday after work! GREAT JOB!