Add in speed changes through your cuts. and sync more to the song. It was 70% in rhythm. Or change the song. You picked a tough edit music wise brotha! I see your vision. But you didn't put in the detail to sync properly, make sense? Best way to learn. Copy a bad ass montage with your own clips using the same song. That way you can learn how he/she did the timing and edits. It's a good tip for getting the feel. Good luck!