Hit a pan loudly with a wooden spoon as you yell very loudly the verses from the new testament. This will attract a ferret to come and crawl up your anal cheecks, but you must make sure to grab it before it going inside, it is imperative to your survival. Take the ferret and make love to its mouth with your mouth, this will produce a hormone that should negate the effects of Tankra, the lord of darkness.
English
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In retrospect instructions were unclear. Got my dick stuck in the ceiling fan.
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I thought u were in the in the bathroom
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Bathrooms have ceiling fans...
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How did u get it stuck?
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Call satan to resurrect Billy Mays from the grave. Ask Billy Mays to lend you some child lubrication to get it unstuck. If in the event that a fire starts when you apply lubrication, rip your penis off and call a group of scientists to grow you a new one.
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Finally! Some good advice!