Flood, today I was eating pancakes and the syrup began to boil. It erupted into flames and out of the ashes rose the figure of the one true waffle god. He instructed to me to preach his message of love. To respect him is to ensure warmth and love in the after life. So I ask you to convert to Waifulism. For Waffle God is love. Waffle God is life. In his syrupy embrace shall you prosper.
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I got enough money in the bank for the 2 of us.