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Edited by die wily:
9/6/2013 9:34:33 AM
9
>be not-shrek
>be 16
>midnight oclock
>hungry
>go downstairs to refrigerator
>grab bag of onions
>gorgre myself on them
>eat all of their layers
>my stomach gurgles
>i know it's going to be a big fat ogre shit
>sprint to bathroom
>plant myself on the toilet
>i push
>nothing
>i push and yell like life depended on it
>a belch emerges from my shrektum while i keep pushing
>i knew it
>shrek's head emerges from my asshole
>OI THIS AINT MAI SWAMP
>my insides are wrecked but i keep pushing for shrek
>oh god when will it be ogre
>slowly i birth the ogrelord
>he's covered with my blood and guts
>HAVE YOU SEEN DUNKEH
>i'm beginning to lose consciousness
>i know it's ogre for me
>the last thing i see before blacking out is shrek flushing himself down my toilet
>shrek is love, shrek is life
-
This reminds me of a similar story: >be me >be 17 >starving at home >its late >i go to the fridge to grab a snack >nothing but onions in fridge >feelsgoodman.jpg >after eating my onion i feel an ache in my stomach >have to shit >run straight to the toilet >i sit down on the cold toilet seat >i pushed with all my might >the shit didn't come out >i'm sweating as i grip the sides of the toilet >i push harder >"i should've never ate that damn onion!!!" >shit finally starts coming out >feel relieved >i start to feel the shit going back into my asshole >i look down >its not shit >a massive veiny green cock is emerging from the toilet into my ass >i try to get off but the cock is holding me in place >i'm in more pain than i was at the beginning >the giant cock slides up and down inside my butt >finally green ogre cum erupts inside me >the green dick pulls out and i jump off the toilet immediately >shrek's face emerges from the toilet seat staring down at me >i am flinching in pain but i couldn't believe my ogrelord was here with me >"you a've disappointed meh laddeh, you must pay for yer sins " >"that's what ye get fer usin the onions name in vain" >his head flushes down back into the toilet >shrek is love >shrek is life
