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5/29/2018 6:29:24 PM
93

Thaviks the Unpatchable

All hail Thaviks the Unremovable! Truly the Kell of Kells as prophesied, Thaviks has no server, kneels before no patches. Thaviks the Infinite, the Unkillable triumphs over the whining of casuals, defies the demands of the false-light guardians and their machine-keyboard gods. Bungie is dead, Thaviks is not, yeeesss?

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  • I think Thaviks is so pissed off he snatched the NF loot. [i]Bungie Development Room:[/i] DEV 1: "So I think we should get back to finding that Missing File that Gabriel made" DEV 2: " You mean the file we tried to Delete yesterday and it disappeared right before I shat my pants?" DEV 1: "yes, I mean exactly that file., you are ok though?" DEV 2: "I'll be fine, I'll be ok really" DEV 1: "Let's read the notes here, (Deleat exodis strike, communitee angry, help)" DEV 2: "man he must have written this in a hurry, he spelled Strike wrong" DEV 1: "here is another note stapled to a donut (Do not eat donut, if you are read this, it are old)" DEV 2: "give me that! is this cream filling? if it is old? why is it warm?...mmm, Salty" DEV 1: "ok, Yesterday we tried clicking the mouse and putting the folder in front of the file as it disappeared and it didn't work, today, I suggest, and just hear me out - if the file moves on the background screen thing, we drag with the mice hands the Basket with the recycle icon in front of it, and try to catch it that way!" DEV 2: "that... is genius! but how are we going to get the stryk File to expose himself?" DEV 1: "Easy! I found another file I thought we could use as bait, its called NFSL!" DEV 2: "YES! Everyone Loves Need for Speed Legends" DEV 1: "Ok, as soon as you see the file, run for the NFSL file, we drag with the Mice's hands the basket thing over it - easy like capturing a rat" DEV 2: "Ok! I can hear it! there it goes! quick quick! GET IT GET IT!" DEV 1: "I am.... trying... my .... best!" DEV 2: "Stop Squinting you are going to shit your pants again!, and there it goes... the nosebleed" DEV 1: "Nope... its gone. it took my Mice hands as well. and the NFSL file is gone. wait, whose computer is this?" DEV 2: "I don't know, but we need to move your nose is bleeding all over the place" DEV 1: "give... me, the rest... of that donut.... I am... so... so... tired...." DEV 2: "take it, ill go look for help!" DEV 1: "no... don't leave me please.... sing me a song, that one about fat bottom girls" DEV 2: " are you (sniffs) gonna take me home tonight, (sniffs), ah besides (sniffs) that red light" DEV 1 + 2 Duet "are you gonna (sniffs) let it all hang out (sniffs), fat bottom girls you make the rocking world go round (sniffs)"

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    • Edited by RoachB0nd: 6/2/2018 4:33:37 PM
      Thaviks is a coward taniks is much less than a coward.[spoiler]btw he challenged us.[/spoiler]

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    • Edited by Gahzirra: 5/30/2018 9:01:24 PM
      Whether we wanted it or not We've stepped into a war with the Fallen on Nessus. So, let's get to taking out their command one by one. Thaviks the Unremovable. From what I gather he's commanding a group of scavengers from a trash can mounted on the wall of the Exodus Black. He's well protected and even with the right team we can't seem to keep him down long enough to even scratch his hit points in an effort to break his grip on Failsafe. Good Luck Guardian.

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      • Curious ... just what did Thaviks have to do to earn the title of [i]the Depraved[/i] ... like seriously ...

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        • Thaviks is that friend who, when a bunch of you get together for dinner, disappears when the check comes.

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        • Incredible

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        • 🤣🤣🤣🤣A+ Title

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        • He's still there. I equipped my 'confused' emote

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        • Yeah man this bastard keeps disappearing everytime i shoot him. Then the sneeky fcker shows up behind me and melees me in the back...lol. while hes all cloaked out and shit!!

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        • Of [i]course[/i] he can't be removed, he's actually Randal the Vandal.

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          • Conversation at Bungie HQ: (imagine the computer scene from Zoolander) DEV1 - "so yeah we got some work to do today, apparently there is an outrage about Gabriel's strike, exodus something" DEV2 - "Gabriel? he still works here, I thought they got rid of him when they found him naked in the fridge in the break room?" DEV1 - "no he is Still around, he just isn't allowed to go to Burning Man anymore to 'Find his creativity'" DEV2 - "that was a lot of creativity he had on him when they unlocked the fridge" DEV1 - "anyway, lets get back to work, so there are 903,495 players online at the moment, there are 245,568 doing strikes, and there are mmm..... 12 Exodus Down strike completions, all level 10-15s?" DEV2 - "that's pretty shitty, ok, so lets get cracking, we have to delete this before the community throws rocks at your car again" DEV1 - "wait,. did you see that? the file just... disappeared?" DEV2 - "I didn't see it, I heard it. made a buzzing noise. OH there it is! quickly, get it! click on it!" DEV1 - " I am Clicking! clicking as fast as I can!" DEV2 - "NOOOO click on the icon with your mouse pointer thingy!" DEV1 - "like this?" DEV2 - "NO, take your mouse off the screen, its not a Pokémon its a Delete file, just give me the mouse" DEV1 - "why are you standing back there?" DEV2 - "if I squint my eyes, I can slow down time and see where the file is going, then I will create a folder in its path where it will be trapped, then we can just drag it to the icon with the recycle thing on it" DEV1 - "are you getting a nose bleed? stop squinting! its making your nose bleed" DEV2 - "its. not. that... was trying so hard... not to ... shit my pants" DEV1 - "we can do this later right? I mean it has been like 5 minutes, I am sure we can do it later" DEV2 - "sure. need. pants. dirty. smells" DEV1 - "let's go get you cleaned up"

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            • [quote]For years everywhere I would go people would stop me and ask me ...CHAMP.(that's short for bungie forum heavyweight champion) they would say CHAMP why don't you have a destiny channel...you are loved by everyone everywhere! I would just laugh sign a few autographs.....pose for a few pictures and then I would go watch professor broman...gatholon....Datto ....but now you all suck..... except fire team chat from IGN.....been watching them alot...only complaint I have is that chomp chomp guy plays halo 5...lmao he doesn't have a clue.... Anyways you all need a new hero someone with imagination.....good looks.....with a body like a Greek GOD! you need someone who will make you laugh when you are crying....and cry when you are laughing... someone who can teach you about destiny....about being an alpha male....if you're a lady and you just read the last part I must say I have nothing against you....I dated a lady who could cook the best meals I have ever had! Anyways you desticals need a new face ... someone fresh, kewl,and would will properly teach you the ways of being a guardian...That's right Me the bungie forum heavyweight champion! I can't tell when this will happen....but it's happening......I'm going to kick the door down and climb that mountain straight to the top! And I'm taking each and everyone of you with me....even the one's with the high pitched voices and the red dresses.....[/quote]

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            • I think the Strange Terrain strike is harder than this one.

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              • The joke is under appreciated amongst all the hate and bile in here but I for one enjoyed it and then moved on. Without feeing the need to bash the game and it’s creators, keep up the good work OP!

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              • I'd rather have Blackout be removed as a modifier. Every type of melee enemy in the game can poke you in the tushie and send you flying to Pluto while it's active. [i][b]Who thought this was a good idea, hmm?![/b][/i]

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                • The 3rd FREE title update is now available [spoiler]Its Monster Hunter World[/spoiler]

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                • Thaviks is what happened when Randal the Vandal got a promotion. #GetRekt

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                • Thaviks is the guy your girlfriend tells you not to worry about.

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                • Edited by 43: 5/30/2018 10:45:54 AM
                  0
                  Yes, the only strike where players couldn't just sit in their hidey-holes and damage the boss to death while ignoring adds is gone..... JOY I enjoyed that strike. It forced me out of the brain-dead auto-pilot mode I usually run when I play anything other than PVP or raids. I had to stop running around and punching everything, In that boss fight, I had to shoot adds........and like avoid the boss popping up behind me......such difficulty...no wonder why you all bitched about it and got it removed/nerfed(eventually). I guess it makes sense though. Since the first year of destiny everyone has been looking for the easy way to cheese strikes/raids/anything. Then I get to see people complain about a lack of "substance".

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                  • Not saying it was my favorite strike but it was doable until some genius decided that disabled radar and instant melee death would be a "fun, enjoyable challenge" for stikes. I'm guessing it's the same person who wakes up in the morning and can't wait to get to the dentist, and mouth throbbing from having teeth yanked out with pliers digs in on scrubbing down public toilets at bus stations and parks near where the homeless hang out. Yup, that dude.

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                  • It's true that Thaviks slipped through our first attempt to remove him from the Heroic Strike playlist. Exodus Crash should be removed now, let me know if you are still seeing it in the playlist.

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                    • God, man. I -blam!-ing hate Bungie’s incompetence. If they can’t even design a strike to be fun, then how the hell are they able to get 700 devs to design a fun game. I just can’t believe people will eat their shit up, and they’ll take it because whether we wanted it or not, we've stepped into a war with the Cabal on Mars. So let's get to taking out their command, one by one. Valus Ta'aurc. From what I can gather, he commands the Siege Dancers from an Imperial Land Tank just outside of Rubicon. He's well protected, but with the right team, we can punch through those defenses, take this beast out, and break their grip on Freehold.

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                      • Moved to feedback Not yet but it’ll happen soon. The ninjas are super sensitive when you talk shit on Bungo

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                        • [b]THAVIKS THE DEPRAVED THIRSTS FOR THE CASUALS[/b]

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                        • *standing ovation*

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                        • Best forum title I've seen in a while. 👏🏽😂

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