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5/27/2016 11:39:04 AM
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Airport Observations #2
Good morning folks! After my fairly well received thread 'Airport Observations,' linked below, and my flight today having just been delayed three hours, I have decided to start another one to relieve boredom. Same style as before. Let the madness begin anew.
Previous iteration:
https://www.bungie.net/en-us/Forums/Post/197768810?sort=0&page=0&path=1
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1 ReplyHour 11 #1. Fin. I am home. Google maps told me it would take 58 minutes to drive home from the airport. I timed it. It took me exactly 58 minutes. Google is good. I speed, so it can't go off of the speed limits. Yet everyone else passes me, so it can't go off some number over the limit, right? But they called the exact time an hour away. Fascinating. Thanks for joining me on another journey through the clouds, folks. Cheers.
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Edited by burritosenior: 5/27/2016 11:49:33 AMHour 1 #4: I take a seat. It has armrests. But the grass is always greener. Having used the GPS to get here, my phone was already at 80%. And I spied the seat across from me and it had a charger next to it. The lady calls boarding for another flight. BEHOLD BY THE WILL OF THE GODS! The lady across from me gets up to board. I snatched the seat. I felt the envious eyes of the crowd. But today was my day, and they could not challenge my ferocity nor my lightning speed. The guy on the other charger looks at me as if it is crazy someone should sit there after someone just left. I look down. I plug my phone in. And I see the downside to this seat. Far from perfect... it has no armrests. How will I read my book, Harry Potter 6? I weep internally, for hope seems lost.
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2 RepliesThat was an interesting and enjoyable read. Just a shame that people comment or like the posts so they aren't in the correct order. But I found my way around it I suppose so it's all good.
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3 RepliesHour 1 #5: The other flight is to a place right by my old home. I'm tempted to go change to that flight. But I'd go to jail since I have to be on this one legally. Alas. I see a bearded man walking. He hears the boarding call again. He rubs his hands in anticipation. While he is a large man, I cannot help but be reminded of Mr. Burns from The Simpsons. Before I hit enter on this site, the bearded man walks back this week! He is struggling to put in earbuds. He finally manages it, but I notice there is no ipod connected to them. It's just the cord. Why would you do things in that order? Why, I ask you!? As he walks past I glance up. He stares me down almost as if he knows he is the current subject of this post. Perhaps the cord is to look busy so people won't talk to him. Perhaps he still has the ipod in his pocket. Or perhaps the end of the ear buds have been converted to a shank to dispose of his enemies. With that look, I wouldn't be surprised.
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Hour 9 #1: it has been a bit. I was supposed to be home an hour ago this morning. Then I was supposed to leave this airport a half hour ago. Now I'm supposed to leave it an hour from NOW. So I've gotten delay after delay after delay. The city is winning. It's infuriating.
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Hour 2 #5: The little girl from before was coughing. She probably caught rot, greyscale, or AIDs from that telephone. Poor thing. She has also started a chant of 'chips and drinks' repeatedly endlessly she hopes to turn into a hit single. The mom said shut up. Easy there mom. There are better ways to handle it.
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Hour 6 #1: I have landed. The city tried to reject me by vibrating my heavier than air flying vehicle, but in the end we overpowered the city's defenses. We are mighty. And when I leave this place, it will be better than it ever was before. For the sky itself is on my side today.
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Hour 3 #1: I am in the middle of a Dark Souls 3 video on youtube. I saw some dude walking around with a shirt of Link from Legend of Zelda sitting at a bonfire from Dark Souls. Good on him. (Nerd)
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Hour 2 #1: I want to watch a video. But how? I have but three gigs of Internet a month. Dammit though, I am not a fool! So I think and I discover... of the 20 secure Internet connections, there is one open! I connect. It asks for access to my pictures and files. I tell it to go to hell. It says that's cool we can still be friends. I now have WiFi. Immediately, updates on my phone start downloading. The homewood suites Internet I had was the worst Internet I've ever had so hopefully this is better.
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I like airports. Especially the ones at your destination. It's a little blast of culture, an introduction to your new location. Assuming it's in a new country, you can pick up a lot just by looking around.
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1 ReplyHour 7 #2: I flew United. The pilot never talked to us save one sentence. He used a prerecorded message for everything else. Seems rather impersonal. I was not impressed. None of the employees even said bye as we exited like normal. I guess they were having a bad day due to the delay too or something. A shame. The one attendant handled the little girl very well in the back though. Very nice to the girl.
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Hour 1 #3: OP now has a new meaning. It now means 'overpriced.' $3.90 for a bottled drink. I go to the register. She asks if I want to donate to the troops. I reply 'I am the troops.' Smiling, not like a dick or anything. She laughs and my price went down a dollar. Pays to be lovely to people.
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2 RepliesHour 2 #2: My phone installed a system update. I immediately notice the typing keyboard feedback is softer. Interesting choice. It feels... off, I suppose. I hope it fixed my complaints about the spellcheck. Still, one thing is certain. My phone has returned more powerful than ever before. All will fear its might and processing capability. While waiting for the update, I read my book. The first chapter was one I had forgotten about. I thought it was in the seventh book, not the sixth. I was pleased, for it is a good chapter.
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4 RepliesLol if you ever fly into the Louisville ky airport you may find my sis. She works there
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Tsa does not prevent terosists
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4 RepliesⒸⓄⓄⓁ ⒻⓄⓃⓉ, ⓇⒾⒼⒽⓉ?
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3 RepliesHour 7 #3: I left the Carl's Jr. I have taken a seat at my gate only to realize my flight was delayed a half hour. Now it's a three hour layover. I also am too late to get a seat with a charger. The winds of fate have forsaken me. Yes, the wheel weaves as the wheel wills, but accepting this as a certainty is quite different from being please at the threads if the weave.
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Hour 4 #2: Boarding begins! An announcement went up about a cancelled flight, but it was another airline. The heavens are still with me. Also, the first hottie is standing. That's fine with me. Oh yes.
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8 RepliesWhy hello there Burrito! Remember me?
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2 RepliesHour 10 #1: I have landed my last flight. The plane was terrifying. It sounded like the engines wouldn't go. We taxi's before takeoff for 15 minutes, almost in circles. When we were, the wheels made a crashing noise, like they wanted to take us all down with them. In the airport, I saw a little girl pushing a luggage with the handle all the way up- taller than her. She pushed it by holding the top of the luggage and pushing it away from her, rather than using the handle (for which she was too short to use). There is a piano in the baggage claim area. A couple is letting their 2 year old pound the keys. I find it a travesty. I want to show up this two year old. I'm pretty petty right now I guess. The three flight delays probably didn't help that though.
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1 ReplyEdited by Last Order: 5/27/2016 1:00:00 PMJust so you know im reading all of these in Liam Neesons voice it makes it 10 times better.
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1 ReplyThis is in fact a masterpiece my good sir
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Hour 9 #2: Boarded! Just took a bit of bitching to make the city let me leave. And here. We. Go.
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I enjoy this, bump.
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This post is kill.
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Inb4 arrested for loitering in airport
