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Edited by Draco_Mantis: 5/9/2016 1:14:46 PM
391

Sexism in raids.

So I have a concern I would like to express. Both my girlfriend and I are avid Destiny players. We both love raiding and doing POE and all of it. We both love PvE and PvP. My concern comes in this, we do have a group that will do all of these things with us. But as it stands all of us have jobs and/or school. So sometimes it is difficult to get all of us together. So what my girlfriend and I do is get a team of randoms. Why is it that just because she is a woman that plays games she gets automatic passes into every group there is. Yet I have to pass some sort of test. We will even ask for groups with room for two for both of us. And as soon as they find out she is a woman they will invite her anyway and tell her to ditch me. I have even had groups hit on her while I am in the chat. She is an amazing woman and tells them to stop or we are both leaving. Most of the time we have to end up leaving because they wont stop. I have even heard a guys girl yell at him to stop or she would break up with him. Just because she is a woman she gets treated like a slut from multiple other people. Why is this a thing. When did disrespect become the common thing. Edit: Thanks for the responses guys. I also have an experience to add that I forgot to mention on here. I have one female character which is my warlock. Well while on my warlock and with my girlfriend, A random guy at the tower decided to try and add us both. And as he put it he thought he it the jackpot. Like wtf is wrong with people that is so wrong and disrespectful it isn't even funny. Edit: OK. To say for the record the reason I said sexism is the derogatory statements made because of her gender. attitudes or behavior based on traditional stereotypes of gender roles. This is the definition of sexism as taken from dictionary.com. those fall under sexism. if you are going to try and bash me for just voicing a concern, at least get your facts straight before you do. Edit: Yes i Know all woman get hit on. That's the nature of males. I am talking about the way it is being done. Plain out disrespect in the things being said. I wonder if some of these things they said to a woman if they would ever dream to ever say them in person, or better yet in front of someone else. Edit: This is just voicing a concern. Thinking out loud. Asking a question. Whatever you want to call it.

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  • Age purely, if you find more mature groups, not only will they not hit on her they won't give a crap what plumbing she has as long as she communicates and can kill things.

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  • I see why they do it, you are a whiney little prick.

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    • Edited by C-Moon: 5/9/2016 5:16:22 PM
      thirsty little boys can't get the pusi so they think they're gods online

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    • None of the people I play with ever do this. Maybe you're looking at the wrong crowd.

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    • Edited by SantyMat91: 5/9/2016 5:13:41 PM
      Kids... Raid is useless now so you dont have to play with randoms any more. Also just mute them and keep on playing. If you want you can add me. Gt same. I just play for fun atm. I have everything in the game so im helping my friends out when i can. I also played with some girls in the old halo days so i know what you mean completely. Greets. Have fun playing man

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    • Doesn't shock me, man. Look at how many t-baggers hang out in PvP. Even some normally grown up dudes will use online gaming as a place for juvenile behavior. I try not to engage in it beyond general, inoffensive banter.

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    • There are a lot of immature kids playing Destiny...

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    • Edited by Silvanthis: 5/9/2016 4:52:21 PM
      Everyone wants a bomb sandwich. Edit: Sammich

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    • Seems like your playing with the wrong people it's mostly just younger children that do that kind of stuff

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    • [spoiler]so nerf fusion rifles[/spoiler]

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    • Really no other way to say it except suck it up and deal with it.

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    • People are shitty. No two ways around it. Just gotta fight through the cringe and find some normal people. I've heard they're out there, somewhere.

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    • Your girlfriend better not raid with me m8, when she sees my non exicting skills (both gaming and typing as it seems today), she will start hitting on me and want to go out with me. All girls have done that. [spoiler]but all kidding aside, why should i care if someone is boy, girl, inbetween, both at the same time, gender swapping each hour, vegan, vapping, drug lord or what ever. If you can play, i dont mind raiding with you. [/spoiler]

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      • Edited by Wallaby Vonwise: 5/9/2016 4:22:07 PM
        I can't really find a rational excuse for why we are still battling social norms of the 50s era. Everyone should be entitled to exist and participate in social places with a measure of safety and equality, free of harassment and being accosted by perceptions lingering from societal understandings of over half a century ago. As a society we may have learned some things since then. Or not, as evidenced. If reason escapes you, at least basic decency and manners should apply. No one is a child, man or woman before they're a person and they should be treated with dignity as such. These values existed back in the good old days too, but you don't hear folks harkening back to them everytime they see or hear something that doesn't fit with the tiny box their world view fits in. Maybe that's because there is no expiration date on human rights and equality, they're relevant now, not just from a time where racism was okay and women knew their place. I know you know it but ladies, where ever you are and whatever you're doing, you belong there if you want to be there and you'll always be welcome in my clan.

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      • It's called "Affirmative Action" you dingus. We all know that there are too many men in the typical raid group. Line up the average raid team and it's 6 straight white men. It's in the interests of any group to select a female player over a male player because that is the inclusive thing to do. Adding in her, clearly straight, boyfriend is an immediate reduction in the diversity of the group. It would be much more betterer to add in a trans black woman or just about anyone else. Get used to it. This is the way the world works now. And if you don't agree then you are just a racist sexist misogynistic hate monger who shouldn't be allowed to speak on the internet or to breed or live.

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        • I hear what you're saying dude but i don't understand your surprise. Its the internet. I know you've probably heard that a lot as an excuse/reason but really its the only way to explain it. Its the same reason why females who become high profile (however fleetingly) are subjected to horrific threats on twitter, facebook etc. My wife plays destiny with me so i understand where you're coming from, which is why i've never done the lfg thing. Luckily though we managed to piece together a clan to run vault etc and they were (mostly) great with her from the start. Best advice i can give is to try and build a group that you can play with when your other clan isn't around to run with. Its ttawling the random element that makes it a losing gamble unfortunately. Hope you find some decent guardians dude

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        • As a female, I don't raid. I've never gotten an automatic pass into a group. What I HAVE gotten is strange men yelling that women have no place playing video games, especially FPS. And lots of immediate kicks when I first speak up in a party. Or like, "oh, you're a girl? I didn't know, we're probably going to just go with our friend instead..." And kicked. LFG is toxic. Really guys, you want hot chicks to play video games? Don't be asshats.

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          • People who give girls immediate invites are children. It shouldn't matter the sex, they're just immature and think they're gonna get laid or something, apparently.

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            • This is why you keep to you're group and avoid the trouble. Obv you are a better person i would track them down for such talk.

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            • So many cringey white knights in here

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            • It's the internet. What did you expect?

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            • Hi guys, I'm a grill. My name is George Foreman.

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              • I'm very sorry to hear this. This here is REAL sexism. This should be what those feminists focus on. I hope you and your gf find a peaceful group/clan that respects you both.

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              • OP you -blam!-ing alpha, you. [spoiler]she isn't going to be your gf much longer if you don't stop bitching about dumb shit to random strangers on the internet. You may as well have a vagina, honestly. Those guys are doing what's natural, they're competing to take your spot. And you're letting her stand up for YOU. Which is kinda sweet, I guess. My point is this: stop being a bitch.[/spoiler]

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                • She SHOULD BE in the kitchen, cleaning, or massaging your feet. Not playing Destiny...

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                  • There are gender roles. They exist. It will never end.

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