Do to running out of post space, I will be posting the older ones here. 1) Elderly people typically get a pass for doing bad behavior because they are old. Regardless if it's sitting in the middle of the street waiting to get hit by a car or cutting in front of you at the grocery store. You just have to put up with it since they are high on the pecking order. However, one time, I was riding my bike home from work at around 4:30 pm. It was my about 6 months after I arrived and was in the honeymoon phase. As I was turning the corner, there was an elderly man in the middle of the sidewalk next to a very busy street with his pants down and his penis out; peeing into the street. As I passed by behind him, he coughed up snot and spat it in front of me. As I was riding away, he pulled up his pants, zipped, and continued waking along. 2) Went to a nearby festival 4 years straight. About 50 middle aged to elderly Japanese men would get plastered and wear only underwear. They would then jump into this waist deep pond and take mud. They would then jump back out and throw it at spectators. If you were hit, it was considered lucky and had healing properties but it smelled foul. They would also bathe each other semi-erotically in it. Besides throwing mud, they would fish out large carp and fish from the pond and chuck them high into the air. Often to their death, put them in their underwear, or try and hit people with the fish. Please note this is a big event with about 200 people watching it; getting hit by mud and fish. Fun times. 3.). I visited a shrine that was dedicated to fertility and child bearing. The main attraction was a giant wooden red penis that two can sit on. Other penis imagery adorns the shrine was well. 4) One of my junior high students a while back came up to be and announced in English "I'm number one small penis in the school!" So I corrected him in saying " I have the smallest penis in this school" so he's like "Oh yeah I have the smallest penis in this school" and proceeded pat his penis with while saying "super small penis". He then said "Do you see?" while patting it. I was just like "....." While he stood there, patting his small penis and grinning ear to ear. He then said with that same smile while staring at me "Micropenis". It was a very odd encounter. 5) A Japanese English teacher that I taught with several years ago had never taken vacation time or time off for pleasure in over 18 years. Among that time, he's only called in sick 6 times. One time he collapsed during class, regained consciousness, and continued with the class. He sends his family on trips within Japan and abroad while paying expenses but chooses to work during then - even during holidays. He chain smokes and always looked like on the verge of death. 6) My principal once felt up my man nipples while drunk at a work party. He was strangely singing a nonsensical song as well. 7) A kindergarten kid was so enamored by my foreigness while walking that he failed to see the bush that he fell into it. I helped his mother get him out and he began to cry and clutched to her for dear life after seeing me close to him. 8) Pizza is damn expensive with a large costing up to $30 or above. I ordered a medium that was about $15. Double pepperoni. The pizza came and I checked after he left and found out it was the wrong type. I called them back and informed the owner of the mistake but said its ok. He said that he will personally deliver the pizza I ordered free of charge. So he arrived dressed as Santa due to it being close to Christmas. Not only did he give me a $15 value pizza for free, he added a $20 coupon to any order for anytime with no expiration date. He professed how sorry he was and bowed deeply several times before leaving. Needless to say, I was a loyal customer for 4 years after that. Customer service and satisfaction in Japan is top notch. 9) One kid placed one yen (one cent) on the ground. As I went to bend down to pick it up, he stuck his two index fingers in my butt hole. This is the kancho and a game played by school kids. It was a trap. 10). After a night of clubbing, three friends and I stayed at a net cafe. We each got our own cubicle with a desk, a chair, a computer, tissues, a waste basket, and a small blanket. Using my tshirt as a pillow, I tried to fit my 6'3 and 205 lbs frame into the cubicle size roughly 4 by 4 feet. It was torturous. Not to mention I had used McDonald's to cure my drunkenness and had a splitting headache. I ended up not sleeping after 4 hours of being there and promptly left early at 5:30 with a note for my friends. I grabbed the nearest cab and go onto the 6 o clock train to go back home. 11). I was attending an international festival as a English helper and interpreter. Basically, I hung out with the other English helpers (we were all English teachers), played hacky sack, and gave high fives. There were people all over the world such as America, Spain, Russia, Korea, China, and Germany. One guy came to me and asked me a question in German. As per usual, it felt like he was saying "You -blam!-ing -blam!- -blam!- ass hole -blam!- toy!!!!!" But it probably was "Hi, nice day isn't it?" I replied back in German "No splkendie Deutsch" (however you spell it) to which he went "Bah" and shoved his hand at my face as he walked on. 12). I was on a train when an elderly Japanese male came up to be me asking me in English "Do you know any Russian girls? Yellow hair and blue eyes?" I said " Unmmm. Nope". He then asked. "German girls?" "Nope". "Canadians?" "Nope?" "How about Brazilians? They got big boobs and a nice butt." "No, sorry". "I see. If you know any, please let me know". He then walked away. I never knew who he was, his name, or contact info. I assumed he thought I was someone else. 13). A girl at a bar confused me as being in One Direction solely because I was a foreigner. Unfortunately, I wasn't in the interest of hurting my marriage by having a one night stand due to that confusion. Plus, getting a girl to have sex due to a obviously and painful mistake in identity would have been a low point for me. 14). I was visiting a Japanese garden with the Japanese language class I was taking at the YMCA. Our teacher was an elderly Japanese lady who spoke perfect English and Japanese. One of the members commented how the darker carp were big and our old Japanese teacher said "Oh yes, Mary-San. The black ones are always the biggest!" We know for a fact that she had no idea what this implied but we still laughed it up.

Don't people like not steal in japan? Like if you forgot your wallet on the train, then went back to see if anyone saw it the next day. It is almost always there?

Are foreigners really such an amazing thing to Japanese people?

I'm sitting on the shitter nearly in tears reading this.

You're a guy, right?

Is the suicide forest real? Have you gone into the forest?? Did they ever find Sara?! Ps. I really wanna know about Aokigahara.

I'd like to visit Japan someday. It seems like one of those places for me that's foreign enough to make an interesting vacation but at the same time a bit too different for my tastes if I ever had to move there for a job.

I've always wanted to visit Japan. Eat authentic ramen, sushi, Japanese BBQ where you cook it yourself on a grill on the tAble

Sounds like an interesting life over there

Been living in Tokyo for about 2 years, can confirm all of OP's stories....

Didn't read it. OP is weeb.

TL;DR

I would get arrested for assult if 9 happened to me

Judging that your grammar skills are on par with mine. I have a hard time believing that you teach English to anybody.