Battlefield Bill by Neebs

Born again by black sabbath

I'm a goofy goober

Alright then, picture this if you will: 10 to 2 AM, X, Yogi DMT, and a box of Krispy Kremes, in my "need to know" post, just outside of Area 51. Contemplating the whole "chosen people" thing with just a flaming stealth banana split the sky like one would hope but never really expect to see in a place like this. Cutting right angle donuts on a dime and stopping right at my Birkenstocks, and me yelping... Holy -blam!-ing shit! Then the X-Files being, looking like some kind of blue-green Jackie Chan with Isabella Rossellini lips and breath that reeked of vanilla Chig Champa, did a slow-mo Matrix descent out of the butt end of the banana vessel and hovered above my bug-eyes, my gaping jaw, and my sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip and all I could think was: "I hope Uncle Martin here doesn't notice that I pissed my -blam!-in' pants." So light in his way, Like an apparition, He had me crying out, "-blam!- me, It's gotta be, Deadhead Chemistry, The blotter got right on top of me, Got me seein' E-mother-blam!-in'-T!" And after calming me down with some orange slices and some fetal spooning, E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose. He said, "You are the Chosen One, the One who will deliver the message. A message of hope for those who choose to hear it and a warning for those who do not." Me. The Chosen One? They chose me!!! And I didn't even graduate from -blam!-in' high school. You better. You better. You better. You better listen. Then he looked right through me With somniferous almond eyes. Don't even know what that means Must remember to write it down. This is so real. Like the time he floated away. See my heart is pounding, 'Cause this shit never happens to me. Can't breathe, right now! It was so real. Like I woke up in Wonderland. All sort of terrifying. And I don't wanna be all alone when I tell this story. And can anyone tell me why you all sound like Peanut's parents Will I ever be coming down? This is so real. Finally it's my lucky day. See my heart is racing, 'Cause this shit never happens to me. Can't breathe, right now! You believe me, don't you? Please believe what I just said, see the Dead ain't touring. And this wasn't all in my head. See they took me by the hand and invited me right in, Then they showed me something. I don't even know where to begin. STRAPPED DOWN MY BED. FEET COLD AND EYES RED. I'M OUT MY HEAD. AM I ALIVE, AM I DEAD? CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT THEY SAID. GOD DAMN. SHIT THE BED! (high... I I I I I... high... I I I I I) (high) [repeated] Overwhelmed as one would be, placed in my position. Such a heavy burden now to be the one. Born to bear and read to all The details of our ending. To write it down for all the world to see. But I forgot my pen, Shit the bed again, Typical. STRAPPED DOWN MY BED. FEET COLD AND EYES RED. I'M OUT MY HEAD. AM I ALIVE, AM I DEAD? SUNKIST AND SUDAFED, GYROSCOPES AND INFRARED. WON'T HELP, BRAIN DEAD. CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT THEY SAID. GOD DAMN SHIT THE BED! I...!!! CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT THEY SAID TO ME. CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT THEY SAID TO ME MADE OUT TO BE A HERO!!! Can't remember what they said. BOB HELP ME. Can't remember what they said. DON'T KNOW. WON'T KNOW. [repeated] GOD DAMN SHIT THE BED!

Probably: little old lady got mutilated late last night

[quote] I just needed time alone, with my own thoughts Got treasures in my mind but couldn’t open up my own vault My childlike creativity, purity and honesty Is honestly being prodded by these grown thoughts Reality is catchin’ up with me Takin’ my inner child, I’m fighting for it, custody With these responsibilities that they entrusted me [/quote]

Qtip vivrant ting

Ass ass ass ass ass ass

The song hallelujah playing during a sex scene. "Hallelujah *faint moan* Hallelujah *faint moan*"

"The cow goes moo" Fùcking genius

I wanna -blam!- you. You already know.

the Internet Friends intro

Can't stick my dick in your college degree and I shove my fist in your childhood dreams

These ^ And i said a hip hop the hippy to the hippy the hip hip hop and you dont stop a rockin till the bang bang boogy say up jump the boogy to the rythm of the boogy the beatnow what you hear is not a test im rappin to the beat and me, the groove and my friends are gonna try to move yo feet see i am wonder mike and id like to say hello to the black the white the red brown the brown, the purple and yellow but first i gotta bang bang, boogy to the boogy...

Hotline bling

"Yeah I'm a dïck girl, I'm addicted to you"

I acquired conscious competence of all of my accomplishments, and conquered constant comments that contradicted my confidence. Common compliments were called upon to con me in. Accosted consonant comments that condescended all my common sense I simply love this alliteration.

"Short love with a long divorce."

Now she talks about her ex nonstop, but I don't mind, But when she calls out his name in bed, that's where I draw the line. You told me a hundred times how your father left and he's gone. But I wish you wouldn't call me "Daddy" when we're getting it on.

The jj icefish ones

[i]I jizzed in my pants[/i]