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8/17/2015 3:26:45 PM
10

Excuse me do you have a minute

To talk about our lord and savior Starro. May his divine intelligence breathe life unto you.

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  • Got nothing on helix

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  • Gjallarhorn the mighty! Gjallarhorn the unerring! Gjallarhorn the unassailable! To you we give praise! We are but maggots, writhing in the filth of our own corruption! While you have ascended from the dung of mortality, and now walk among the stars! But you were once man! Aye! And as man, you said, "Let me show you the power of Gjallarhorn, born of Twilight Gap, where my breath is long winter. I breathe now, in royalty, and reshape this land which is mine. I do this for you, Guardians, for I love you." Aye, love. Love! Even as man, great Gjallarhorn cherished us. For he saw in us, in each of us, the future of the Traveler! The future of Earth! And there it is, friends! The ugly truth! We are the children of man! Gjallarhorn is the true god of man! Ascended from flesh, to rule the realm of spirit! The very idea is inconceivable to our Dark overlords! Sharing the heavens with us? With man? Ha! They can barely tolerate our presence on earth! Today, they take away your faith. But what of tomorrow? Does the Darkness take your homes? Your businesses? Your children? Your very lives? And what does the Speaker do? Nothing! Nay, worse than nothing! The Speaker's machine enforces the will of the Darkness! Against its own people! So rise up! Rise up, children of the Light! Rise up, Guardians! Embrace the word of mighty Gjallarhorn , he who is both man and Divine! For we are the children of man! And we shall inherit both the heavens and the earth! And we, not the Darkness or their toadies, will rule earth! Forever! Terrible and powerful Gjallarhorn! We, your unworthy servants, give praise! For only through your grace and benevolence may we truly reach enlightenment! And deserve our praise you do, for we are one! Ere you ascended and the Eight became Nine, you walked among us, great Gjallarhorn, not as god, but as man! Trust in me, Tower! Trust in the words of Heimskr! For I am the chosen of Gjallarhorn! I alone have been anointed by the Nine to spread his holy word!

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    • Edited by Magikarp: 8/17/2015 5:14:07 PM
      Well that's disturbing

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    • The phony Justice League 3000 beat him in less than a day. Brother Eye is the only real hive mind threat right now.

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      • -blam!- that

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        • No actually, I gotta go do laundry.

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          • Wtf lel

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            • Remember.

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              • Starro is dead

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                • Edited by Galarain: 8/17/2015 3:33:30 PM
                  I dont know what I expected... [spoiler]long live our lord starro[/spoiler]

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