Flood, I am here to bring YOU the good news of Dr Mike Murdock: a deity who will give you any gift you desire, using the power of the Abrahamic God, and a being who will bless you with infinite blessings if you give a small gift, nay, a SEED of 1000 US dollars to his foundation. You want a plane? You got it, just tell him what make and model you want. Need a second house DEBT FREE? Just ask him, he's got plenty of them to give away. You need a lion or a herd of deer? HE CAN PROVIDE THAT AS WELL. He's like Santa, but more just and basically a god. Now, I know what you're all saying; "But Reverend Katana Donkey, i dun haev $1000 to give. pls halp." Help is here. Well, rather truth and guidance. As Lord Dr Murdock said, you have 1000 US dollars SOMEWHERE. Maybe in your bank account? Maybe between your mattresses (Mike Murdock's body is too holy and valuable to only own a single mattress, so our heathenish and impoverished ways such as not owning multiple mattresses is an alien concept to even a being as ascended as he,) Don't be afraid to pull money from your college fund or your kid's college funds; your retirement fund is also acceptable to draw from. $1000 is but a token compared to the blessings he can bestow upon you; some of which include yachts, boats, debt free houses, brand new cars, llamas, gold plated toilets, child brides, and so much more. So, if the power of Mike Murdock has persuaded you to change your ways, then I BESEECH you to donate 1000 US dollars to his foundation; and I GUARANTEE you by his grace that the next 90 days proceeding your seed giving will be the most profitable and prosperous days of your entire life. You can break the back of poverty: all you need to do is trust in Mike Murdock and open the innermost folds of your wallet to him.