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5/24/2015 7:00:42 PM
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A whale showed up on my porch; what do I do?

I can't keep it because my family has too many sharks. It is an old whale that we think somebody beached at our house. I've been watching it and got it some water, and we are getting it some food. What else should I do? Nobody has came looking for it yet.

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  • Bump

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  • Once upon a time, a whale walked into a bar. The whale had had a tough day. He'd been fired from his job, his wife had left him, and his mother has passed away. Never before has a creature of Earth needed a drink so badly. The whale approached the bar. Slowly, he eased his aching body onto a stool. He'd been mugged only moments earlier: the thieves left him with only enough change to purchase a single, measly drink. But it was enough. The whale hailed the bartender. A gruff man, the bartender was known for speaking his mind, whether you wanted to hear it or not. Unliked outside of his work, the only good thing this man had done in his life was provide liquid escape to those in desperate need of it. The bartender was also known for his intolerance. A prejudice and rude man, he took pleasure in demeaning those he deemed "lesser." A frequent visitor of "ethnic cleansing" websites, and a downright racist scumbag, there was not much pleasant about the bartender. And so it was that the whale hailed the bartender. The bartender, who was in a particularly nasty mood, turned haughtily towards the whale. A moment of silence passed. The bartender looked the whale up and down. After an infinite void of silence, the bartender smugly scoffed, and, in his infinite intolerance, said to the whale: "We don't serve [i]your kind[/i] here." A moment passed. The whale, after deep contemplation, said: [spoiler]Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuwwwwewwww[/spoiler]

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  • The "a feminist showed up at my porch" thread has already been done

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    3 Replies
    • Tell ur mum 2 git off ur porch m8

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    • Eat it, who would waste of that much food?

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    • Give it to me. For...sacrificial reasons....

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    • Send it to space!

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    • Nothing, it'll be orcay and whale leave on its own once it finds its porpoise and direction again.

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      • Play with it

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