I share this not as a invitation of pity, or as a morbid declaration. Today my dog Lily had to be euthanized. She and I had grown up together. I'd taken care of her since she was two weeks old. About 3 weeks ago, she contracted pneumonia and antibiotics weren't helping. So the options were clear, two weeks of her suffering while I wallow selfishly clinging to her last moments preparing myself to let go, or allow her life to end peacefully and humanely. I chose the latter. The veterinarian entered the room carrying two syringes, one containing a sedative, the other containing a barbiturate. I sat with Lily's head in my lap, her breath labored from the pneumonia. The Veterinarian had already placed an IV in Lily's paw. She asked if I was ready, and I nodded. The vet bent over, inserted the syringe containing the sedative into the IV and began to apply steady pressure to the plunger. What seemed like hours went by as I watched the liquid from the syringe slowly being injected into the IV. Lily's body began to slowly relax and her breathing went from a labored pant to a steady series of deep, full breaths. The Veterinarian removed the first syringe from the IV and looked at her watch. After ten seconds had passed, she bore the second syringe containing the barbiturate and introduced it slowly to the IV. In a much faster motion than with the sedative, she emptied the syringe into the IV. Almost immediately, Lily's breathing stopped and she went completely limp. The vet checked for a heart beat, but it was gone. Lily was dead. After the vet left the room, I began to cry. I was consumed by my emotions. Her body was still warm, and yet it was so still. I felt her fur between my fingers, but as I stroked her pelt, her body remained unchanged. It really dawned on me how truly final death was and how much life effects the world around it, and I was humbled. I sat with the body in my lap for about a minute as I let myself feel everything. After I left, I went home and her amenities were still scattered around the house. As I went about my day, there was a chilling stillness. When I opened the front door I reflexively closed it as if to keep Lily from trying to get out. It was a really bizarre experience. It felt as though the world was a still-life, and I wasn't even there.