Over the past couple of days all I've seen on these forums is people asking for nerfs and buffs. I thought I'd put my thoughts out there... [b][u]NERF[/u][/b] ~ Sparrows ~ [i]First thing that needs a nerf is the sparrows. The ones IG are way better than mine IRL. Mine barely gets me to work on time, let alone half way round Mars in 3 minutes. I was doing the Devils Lair strike a couple of days ago and was impressed by the manoeuvrability of the sparrow through crowded rooms and areas, so naturally I decided to take mine down to the local supermarket to compare. Lets just say I wasn't impressed and neither was anybody else.[/i] ~ Legendary Drops/Vendors ~ [i]The price for legendaries should be set at 100,000 glimmer at all vendors, and set the max glimmer that you can hold to 50,000. Xur will only sell Exotic weapons at a cost of 100,000 Skins of Scrota (What Xur does with them in his own time is up to him). Finally, any Legendary drops or rewards must be fought for, gladiator-style, in an arena against 50 Atheons. You have feathers, they have gjallarhorns. That way we can finally understand the meaning of "[b]earned[/b]". [/i] ~ Engram Farming ~ [i]You want to stop people sitting in front of caves, popping off head shots and collecting engrams? Don't just alter the timer to make them take longer to spawn, do the opposite in fact. If someone stays in a spot for longer than a few minutes or kills a certain amount of enemies coming out of a single door then just every couple of minutes send out dozens and dozens of that enemy type. Are they farming by the beginning of Devils Lair? Okay, here comes 25 yellow-bar witches, 50 thralls, 10 knights and 40 acolytes. Oh, and a Walker, just for fun.[/i] ~ Any Weapon/Enemy That Has Ever Killed Me ~ [i]This one's simple and obvious. I'm obviously a boss at this game so whenever I die then it [u]must[/u] be because the game is glitched or because the weapons are too OP and need nerfing. Everything in life is meant to be easy, why should this game be any different? [/i] ~ Everything Else ~ [i]This games too hard, nerfs all round![/i] [b][u]BUFFS[/u][/b] ~ Boss Aesthetics ~ [i]Devils Lair boss; Big Servitor, Summoning Pits; Big Troll, The Nexus; Big Hydra, Cerberus Vae; Big Colossus... You get the picture. It's also been revealed Crota is just a big Knight. Despite the fact that during the story Crota was actually described, I'm still disappointed that he's not a half pug, half fire-breathing dragon and half hitler, wielding two rabies-infested-cat-firing-crossbows and, much like how the spider tank drops off shanks, Crota could crap out zombie rabbits that shoot lasers out of their eyes...[/i] ~ My Weapons/Subclasses ~ [i]My weapons aren't powerful enough whereas everyone else's are too OP. So along with the nerf of every weapon and enemy that has killed me I think all the weapons I use, along with the subclasses I use, need a buff. I'm the best gamer ever so the fact I don't finish a crucible match with a 100,000:0 KD ratio must mean my guns need buffs and everyone else's need nerfs.[/i] ~ Tower ~ [i]Not so much a buff, just an improvement. Firstly, when I'm out on patrol picking up guardian bitches I take them back to the lounge to have a drink and get to know them - with the intention of ploughing them later. But when that time comes I have nowhere to go. Where's my living quarters in this damn place? We're like 1000 stories up and your telling me not one of these floors has a place for me to take my bitches? Disappointed is an understatement. There also seems to be a lack of anything worthwhile around the tower. Yes the shader vendor got updated, but why can't I buy from her the ability to make my own shader? My local Leylands has a better selection than her! Finally, you expect guardians to be able to double-jump and cruise across chasms onto disappearing platforms and land on 2 foot wide ledges, but won't let me do it in the tower!? If I want to punch a robot for talking crap to me I should be able to. If I want to put my ward of dawn up and have a dance off inside of it I should be able to.[/i] ~ Ghost ~ [i]My ghost bores the crap out of me. And when it actually comes to fighting he just leaves me to it. Is that all he's good for, really? He can brake into computer systems and revive "sleeping" guardians but when it comes to actually doing something useful he disappears into thin air? Dafuk? Grab a gun or something and quit with your useless one-liners.[/i] [u]I'm sure there's more that needs doing to make this game playable by 3 year olds. If you can think of anything I missed please comment and I'll try to add them. Nobody likes getting killed in crucible so the obvious answer is to remove all of the guns and specials and have cuddle wars instead. Nobody likes dying in the raid so lets have Atheon shoot bolts of hope and love instead. Nobody likes farming materials so why not just ask a vendor at the tower really nicely if they got some lying around spare.[/u] [b][i][u]LETS NERF EVERYTHING WE DISLIKE AND BUFF EVERYTHING WE LIKE. AND WHEN IT DOESNT HAPPEN LETS ALL COME ONTO THE FORUMS AND HATE ON BUNGIE AND ANYONE WHO USES/DOES THE THINGS WE DONT LIKE. MOB MENTALITY FTW.. YAY!![/u][/i][/b] [spoiler]Btw... The majority of this is just a joke and me being sarcastic. Stop bitching about the game. You bought the game so either play it as it is or go dig a hole on Minecraft or something.[/spoiler]