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Edited by Vakris One: 10/23/2014 2:56:16 PM
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Traveller Today: Queen’s Brother Involved in Tavern Brawl

BREAKING NEWS JUST IN: The Queen’s brother was involved in sparking a brawl between Guardians and Reefers inside the popular tavern ‘The Master Sergeant Chief Captain Sir!’, located on Bebop street in the Last City. The owner of the establishment, Miss Olah, has provided detailed accounts of the altercation. During his visit it seems the Queen’s brother had a little too much to drink and made the mistake of assuming a Titan had a sense of non-physical humour. The Queen’s brother mad a quip about the “shoddy nature” of Amanda Holiday’s maintenance on Guardian ships. A comment that incensed many Guardians present one of which responded with, “That’s tough talk coming from someone with no name.” The Queen’s brother then proceeded to pour his drink on a Titan, refill his glass, pour his drink on the Titan again and said, “I do have a name and that name is…” His sentence was cut short by the Titan’s abrupt shoulder charge sending the Queen’s brother through two walls, one casket of finely malted Martian sauvignon, a stack of sparrows parked outside and into one of Master Rahool’s storage houses across the street. Reefers and Guardians then proceeded to throw down in a vicious melee only a Titan could love. The brawl was broken up shortly after by Ikora Rey and Lord Shaxx. After the event subsided we caught up to Ikora Rey for a few words. Rey stated, “I suppose we shall now have to apologise to the Queen. Zavala knows her best so it must fall on his shoulders.” Commander Zavala made this comment, “I could tell you of the many names we used to call him (Queen’s brother) at the academy… The Queen will understand, if she hasn’t already had a laugh about it herself. In turn Cayde-6 had this to say, “Yeah, his ass kicking (Queen’s brother) was a hoot. Fun times. Not that I was there of course… Ah wait, are you recording this…?” Without being asked the Guardians involved have immediately returned to help Madam Olah with repairs and even some improvements to The Master Sergeant Chief Captain Sir! Hunters have begun installing hidden floor traps and net launchers in case of another brawl. Warlocks have begun enchanting caskets, glasses and music players to be unbreakable and Titans have begun punching pieces of wood back into furniture and holes back into walls. IN OTHER NEWS The Vex have expressed a desire to examine a ‘nerf’ placed upon some recently liberated Mythoclasts. For those who are wondering what a ‘nerf’ actually is; it is a soft fuzzy creature placed atop a weapon of great power. The creature’s purpose is to soothe the weapon’s anger management issues every time it fires. [u]Reports Coming Soon:[/u] [i]1) [url=http://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/74421488/0/0/1]Aksor, Archon Priest’s final words translated.[/url] 2) Vault of Glass not actually made of glass.[/i] [b]Traveller Today Issue 3 now available[/b] - [u][url=http://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/74421488/0/0/1]instant teleport[/url][/u]

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  • I subscribe to Traveler Today. :D

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  • Haha yeah probably a fight over a dildo... Wouldn't be surprised...

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  • Thanks for your continuous efforts in breaking the monotony and incisive crying in our forums.

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    • Edited by electromagnetism: 10/20/2014 2:21:42 AM
      I like it

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      • I respect the attention you give to our fists. Carry on.

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        • Genius

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        • Give this man a job, Bungie/Activision

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        • Man... Lots of new news guys lately.

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          • Ah, so "nerf" is what the locals call Tribbles. Good to know.

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            • [i]"Titans have begun punching pieces of wood back into furniture"[/i] Oh Holy Cow!! Great work!

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              • now we need a newspaper in game like this lol

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              • Damn, your f*ckin' hilarious haha

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              • Awesome I hope you make more.

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              • [quote]BREAKING NEWS JUST IN: The Queen’s brother was involved in sparking a brawl between Guardians and Reefers inside the popular tavern ‘The Master Sergeant Chief Captain Sir!’, located on Bebop street in the Last City. The owner of the establishment, Miss Olah, has provided detailed accounts of the altercation. During his visit it seems the Queen’s brother had a little too much to drink and made the mistake of assuming a Titan had a sense of non-physical humour. The Queen’s brother mad a quip about the “shoddy nature” of Amanda Holiday’s maintenance on Guardian ships. A comment that incensed many Guardians present one of which responded with, “That’s tough talk coming from someone with no name.” The Queen’s brother then proceeded to pour his drink on a Titan, refill his glass, pour his drink on the Titan again and said, “I do have a name and that name is…” His sentence was cut short by the Titan’s abrupt shoulder charge sending the Queen’s brother through two walls, one casket of finely malted Martian sauvignon, a stack of sparrows parked outside and into one of Master Rahool’s storage houses across the street. Reefers and Guardians then proceeded to throw down in a vicious melee only a Titan could love. The brawl was broken up shortly after by Ikora Rey and Lord Shaxx. After the event subsided we caught up to Ikora Rey for a few words. Rey stated, “I suppose we shall now have to apologise to the Queen. Zavala knows her best so it must fall on his shoulders.” Commander Zavala made this comment, “I could tell you of the many names we used to call him (Queen’s brother) at the academy… The Queen will understand, if she hasn’t already had a laugh about it herself. In turn Cayde-6 had this to say, “Yeah, his ass kicking (Queen’s brother) was a hoot. Fun times. Not that I was there of course… Ah wait, are you recording this…?” Without being asked the Guardians involved have immediately returned to help Madam Olah with repairs and even some improvements to The Master Sergeant Chief Captain Sir! Hunters have begun installing hidden floor traps and net launchers in case of another brawl. Warlocks have begun enchanting caskets, glasses and music players to be unbreakable and Titans have begun punching pieces of wood back into furniture and holes back into walls. IN OTHER NEWS The Vex have expressed a desire to examine a ‘nerf’ placed upon some recently liberated Mythoclasts. For those who are wondering what a ‘nerf’ actually is; it is a soft fuzzy creature placed atop a weapon of great power. The creature’s purpose is to soothe the weapon’s anger management issues every time it fires. [u]Reports Coming Soon:[/u] [i]1) Aksor, Archon Priest’s final words translated. 2) Vault of Glass not actually made of glass.[/i][/quote]I LOVE YOU DIGITAL NEWSPAPER

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              • Amazing this community needs more groups/people like you.

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              • Ahaha! Oh man, it's the second post of yours I read, PLEASE keep up the good work! BUNGIEEE! Give this man a show on the Tower!!

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                • What does the queen have to say about this?

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                  • Where's the second edition?

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                    • Hahaha! Omg do more of these! This is a kick

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                    • Very funny. Will you be doing more reports after your other two are done? It would be really cool and entertaining. I liked the definition of a nerf. Haha.. I want a nerf on my weapon.

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                      • Lol that's very creative:)

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                        • Nice story can't wait for vault of glass story.

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