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Destiny

Discuss all things Destiny.
9/22/2014 7:14:14 PM
12

exclusive: the hive strikes back

Have you ever wondered why you were asked to scan that vista that appeared to have no strategic importance, to scan a computer that obviously broke down in the 2080s or clear a vault of 1,000s of homicidal robots? We can now reveal this has been the ingenious work of hive command. Two weeks ago to prepare for the influx of new guardians the hive hacked patrol missions and even some key strategic missions. Xyor the unwed explains "we decided to hack their missions to send them to stand on top of bricks, scan cracks that any idiot could tell have no strategic importance and we even sent them to clear squatters out of the vault of light before we redecorated. Some were in there for over 10 hours ha ha ha". Although some real missions still filtered through hive command added in some tweaks. Xyor, continues "we started adding requirements like collect Temper cloth in the hope their hands would be so full of cloth they would be unable to fight back against the upcoming ambush. fools!!!!". And in one brilliant final move hive command even tricked guardians into destroying the old wifi shard. "We were given an estimate of 500 strange coins to dismantle it, so I said to Barbara why not just tell them we are draining the traveller, the fools will believe anything. We changed the name from the wifi shard to the shard of the traveler. We've now installed a new one and can stream espn in hd" unfortunately the guardians slaughtered hundreds of hive as well, so the plans may need revisiting. However guardian moral has surely been shattered, the speaker again was not available for comment or drunk, we forget which. In other news were you one of the unlucky titans offered a legendary mark called the light of the great prism only to discover it was a shower curtain from a vex western hotel? If so Ambulance chasers galactic want to hear from you. And in the crucible why does the announcer sound like he works at a bank? More on that later.

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