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12/22/2014 4:35:02 AM
2

Why we don't have, Material Exhange anymore.

WARNING! View discretion advised. Mature 18+ I was returning from completing a target bounty, Draksis. I had his head the trunk of my ship to prove to the Vanguard that he was dead. It was a tricky a fit with all the Spinmetal and Spirit Blooms I had stored back there, but I managed to fit it all in. I came into view of the Tower and gave remote control to the ShipWright and teleported down to the Tower while my ship was put into storage. I went to Banshee to collect some ammo for my shotgun. After making my purchase I went to the Vanguard to show them Draksis head. When I walked into the room I tossed it onto the table. "Whoa, what the -blam!-!?" Cyade said looking at me. "I killed Draksis." I said. The Vanguard looked at the head as blood spilled out onto the table. "Um, okay. Here's your armor." Cyade replied. I nodded and saluted the Vanguard as I left. "That one crazy Hunter." Zavala said. "Psychotic is more like it." Ikora added. "Tell it to Bungie." I snapped. "They took my Queen." I went to the Crucible Quartermaster to turn in all my excess materials for Crucible Marks, and got 15 extra marks which contribute to the Judgement IV that New Monarchy has. I heard someone chuckle behind me. "Too chicken to do the Crucible." they muttered. I turned around to see Lord Shaxx, the Crucible Handler. "Think you got what it takes in the Crucible?" he asked. "I got a better idea, how about you get off your ass and go do some real battle!" I replied. "The Crucible is real battle." Shaxx replied. "Yeah sure. In Crucible you got your Ghost to revive you, but out there if you die your Ghost dies. There is no "respawn" or second chances! But I don't expect you know that, only a real warrior would know." I said. I could see right through Shaxx's shiny helmet that he didn't appreciate that retort. "Are you saying I'm not a real warrior?" he asked grimly. "Not just that, you're not a real man. I'll bet you're still virgin because women don't like your microscopic cock!" I replied. "You're a virgin too." Shaxx said. "Tell that to the Awoken Queen, she rode my cock and drank my jizz!" I replied. https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/85662830/0/0/1 Shaxx angered by my words jumped over the table and charged me. I used my Blink to teleport behind him and then rear kicked Shaxx's legs forcing him to his knees. I then pulled out my Arcblades and tore into his shiny school boy armor and proceeded to rip him apart. His blood painted the floor and walls crimson. Vanguard rushed in to stop me, Ikora Rey gather her void energy to blast me with her Nova bomb but I teleported out to dodge. Her Nova bomb flew into what was left of Shaxx and incinerated his bloody corpse. Ikora spun around drawing her Shotgun, Invective on me. She squeezed the trigger and emptied all four shots into me, but I black flipped to minimize the damage, I was still hit though. I swiped my blades along the ground sending a wave of Arc lightning towards Ikora and incinerating her. Zavala came in with his fist of Havoc, but I used Blink to teleport out, and whipped out Super Good Advice and mowed down Zavala, Cyade drew the Golden Gun and took aim at me. I rolled forward in time to dodge the flaming bullet but I underestimated Cyade's speed, and he quickly pulled the trigger and fired the second shot into me. I woke up later with Shaxx, Zavala, and Ikora fully restored by their Ghosts. Shaxx seemed a bit nervous now. "And so to prevent another incident like this we're releasing another Hot Fix to remove Material Exchange. It's clear now that it's causing too much violence." Bungie said on the big screen. "What!?" I shouted standing up. "First my Queen now this!?" "It's to help make the game more enjoyable. It's clear that Material Exchange is causing too much stress for Guardians." Bungie replied. "What about this -blam!-er!?" I asked pointing at Shaxx. "Why don't you just erase him from existence and replace him someone else? He's always talking shit when he just stands around looking pretty!" "Do you question your gods?" Bungie asked. "There's only one God, you're not him." I replied. Soon time and space began to warp, and the new Hot Fix was implemented, I found myself in Earth's orbit, and with only 20 Crucible Markers, 130 short to get Judgement IV. Enraged I took off towards Venus to plot my, Revenge.
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  • Moral of the story: Golden Gun>You.

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  • What.... Shaxx was in the wild before. He fought in the battle of twilight gap. He handles the crucible for he can train guardians for they can be forged in fire. For they will be battle-ready for anything in the wild. But if this post was for the" lols" then kudos to you man.

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