Way too much to read. In general, stick up for yourself and tell this guy to fuk off. Edit: Response to him next time he gets out of line - "if you're going to act like this we're going to find someone else to fill in for you" - let him yell and complain and call you names, do not respond, just let him rant. When it's over, and if he hasn't apologized and calmed down, just say "sorry, that's just the way we feel, I hope you can find another team to work with but we don't want your aggro ruining ours" - let him call you more names. Then kick him. He'll come begging back, as long as you stay calm, but firm and assertive.