Titan: Oh man I want ThunderLord so bad! It's arc damage, just like my crackling personality!
Warlock: Hey Titan! You'll never guess what I just found in the Vault of Glass, ThunderLord!
Titan: Wow I'm going there right now!
(3 hours later Titan returns)
Warlock: How'd it go?
Titan: Not too good, I got a remote that works on everything or something like that.
Warlock: My condolences, maybe next week.
*Hunter runs up*
Hunter: Hey Titan! You'll never guess what I just found in the Nightfall, ThunderLord!
Titan: Gotcha! I'm going there right now.
(2 Hours later, Titan returns)
Hunter: How'd it go?
Titan: Not good, it gave me a multi-tool thingy. I'm no handyman.
Warlock: Chin-up my friend! Lets go fight some crucible matches to get your mind off this.
*1 hour later the fire team returns from battle*
Hunter: I can't believe the guy in last place got ThunderLord...Twice!
Warlock: Yea but Titan got 50 kills! Heheh...where is he?
Hunter: I see him.
*Hunter points to Titan who is banging his head against a wall*
Warlock: He's making an impressive dent. Hey Titan, maybe Xur will sell it this week!
*Titan lifts his head in hopefulness*
(One week later, Hunter and Warlock find Titan sitting in a tree with his head between his knees)
Warlock: I didn't know we could get up there. Hey Titan, how'd it go?
Titan: Not good he was selling the last of his words or something like that.
Hunter: Well he was selling heavy weapon engrams did you get those?
Titan: Yea, I spent the last of my motes of light to get one and it gave me a giga horn or something like that, I don't know. I give up!
Warlock: Well maybe we could-
Gunsmith: SELLING THUNDERLORD! REAL CHEAP! THUNDERLORD HERE! ONLY GOT ONE!
(Titan uses Fist of Havoc to get down from the tree knocking Hunter and Warlock off screen)
Titan: SHUT UP AND TAKE MY GLIMMER!
Gunsmith: whoa there pal I'm not looking for glimmer, I need a hard drive transplant so I require only one mote of light.
(Hunter pulls himself out of the bushes)
Hunter: Hey didn't you spend all your motes on Xur- Where did Titan go?
*Titan died*
(Warlock climbs down from the awning above the gunsmith)
Warlock: I think he jumped off the tower.
Hunter: oh well his ghost can revive him right? Oh good it did-
*Titan died*
Hunter: -oh geez.
(One week later)
*Titan died*
Warlock: Hey Titan! The speaker left a gift for you and all your hard work! It's Thunder-
(Titans shoulder charges Warlock and grabs the package and opens it to find a bucket of paint)
Titan: What In Traveler's name is this?!
Warlock: -Devil
Titan: What?
(Warlock picks herself up off the ground.)
Warlock: Thunderdevil is what I was going to say.
Titan: ...F*ck it I quit, I think I WILL take that commander promotion after all.
- Commander Zavala: And that's why I have my position today! Well new recruit, did that answer all of your questions?
Titan: It sure did! I'm gonna head to Mars now.
Commander Zavala: Whoa there, grab a gun from Xur before you go, he's over there.
Titan: Oh I already did, he gave me LightingGod or something like that- uh Commander? Where are you going?
*Commander Zavala died*
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