Can't...handle...too much......bad spelling..... AAAGGGHHH! *explodes*

Best thread on the internet. Get this man a -blam!-ing medal.

I actually guessed booty[spoiler]i always guess booty [/spoiler]

FQT U MAID MAI BRAYNE HURT TRYIN 2 TH1NKED OF WAT WAS ANSWER IM GUNNA SEW UR ASS GIMME UR ADRRESS SON ILL TEECHED U LESSON ULL NEVR 4GET

*The start* [Book of creation] 1) At first there was Grammar. Then Bastage drove up in his Bentley and said "Sheit yo". He sent some people to make Call of Duty Black ops 2. With this he knew that bad grammar would be common and his new world created. 2) Bastage was watching the game form and thought "Kidz. We ned mor kidz 4 Mike jakson". He condemned children into the game to make it cancerous and fâggy. 3) On the third day Bastage said "Huly kraps, bastuge has homework" so he skipped that day. 4) On the fourth day the Lord created Ebola for the lolz. After playing #2muchplaugeinc5me the earth had HIV, Ebola, Autism, Hepatitis, and homosexuality. 5) Bastage was on the sheeter once and accidentally created people that had poopy, no poopy, bloody poopy, and banana poopy skin. We now call these people a race. HA! 6) On the next day Bastage created the B.net forums but had nobody to go on it. So he went to North Korea and became a dictator. 7) On the final day Bastage spoke the words "2sleepy5me" and fell asleep. *Fanfictions* [Book of Joe's fanfiction] 1) Once upon a time there was a man named Joe. He was only nine years old. He loved Bastage so much. He would pray to Bastage every night, thanking him for the life he's been given. "Bastage is love" he would say. "Bastage is life". 2) His uncle hears him and touches him in the balls. He screamed -blam!-. His uncle punched his nuts. Joe is in bed now, and his balls hurt. He feels a warmth move towards him Joe feels something grab him 3) Its Bastage He is so happy He whispers into Joe's ear "2spooky5me" He grabs me with his powerful God like hands and puts him on his kands and hnees 5) Jester am dyslexic Oooon! Ehs tasn'w yeadr! I npeo ym eoodig xob rof Bastage Eh senetratep sih mub Ti seelf os gib dna yeatm tub Joe soed it for Bastage 6) Jester am lazy su #nofullversion4u 7) Jester wus fird but nut 4 srsly 8) Bastage looks him straight in the eye and says "Am Bastage" Bastage leaves through Joe's window Bastage is love, Bastage is life *Cereal rules and stuff* [Book of skipping parts] 1) Joe's oldest son Biosmiley was on the B.net forums when he came across one of Bastage's threads. Before he could skip this introduction he heard a loud shout. "AM BASTAGE" the voice yelled! "AM BASTAGE" he roared once more! 2)Then Bastage told Bio of the-blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah that would-blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah. 3) So Bio stood atop of Mt. Deej's mother. Bio complained of bad B-O and hairy armpits, while Bastage was making a list of thing for people to follow and always-blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah. 4) Lord Bastage rode up in his Bentley and grabbed all of the chicks and did other cool stuff. Afterwards he told Bio of the 6 commandments, •You shall murder •Teabag your mother and father •Tell false gods to suck a red one. •NEVER screen peek in COD. I'll fookin quickscope u m8. •Remember Cam by posting juicy butt steak •We have Shrek 2 on VHS 5) *More religious stuff here* *Numbers* [Book of numbers] 1) This is a legit Holy bible name.. What the shît?! Anyway... Onto the story 2) Bastage was drunk one night and crashed into a school. He lived, but Five O took his Bentley away. 3) He then no scopes them across the map flipping them the bird. "Yal sum stoopid fukers, dode" 4) Now Bastage was out of a car a needed a new whip 2 pick up some bitches. But that poor Mofo had no moonies!! O noes! 5) He gonnu need 2sukdik4moonies now! 8======D o yas~ What? He's not doing it? LAAMMMEEE! 6) Bastage got a new whip 4 days later, and it looks VERY familiar.... Is that?? BASTAGE! COME BACK HERE WITH MY WHIP, NIQQA! He crashed. What. The. -blam!-. 7) Why was this book called numbers you ask? Because Bastage had to pay 9,000,000,000 dollars in damages... *420 Praise it* [Book of Jeezus and weed] 1) Before we begin I want to promote my new mix tape, dropping 2036. Thanks to Kayne. 2) The people were losing faith in Bastage and looked to other gods for good times. Bastage got mad and told them "Cum bak her b4 I rek u, m8s (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง" But they only responded with "O LAWD PRAISE HEEZUS" 3) Now Bastage got super duper mad and toggled the jump haxs. Soon he jumped up into heaven and set C4 on the walls. 4) Bastage slow-mo ran into the room and yelled "Am Bastuge, fakrs!" Jesus looked at him with a stoner expression. "Hey man, welcome to the Projects." 5) Jesus was playing MW2 on his Xbox when Bastage #REKTTHATFOOKINDOOR like your mum. "Listn bru, I want famouses and stuf." 6) Bastage had to focus on the task at hand. He must resist the weed... Resist. The. Wee-

ayy lmao

wow

[quote]booty[/quote] yus

LOL GOTCHA HUH U NEVR GESSD DAT