This is the Chronicles of our Lord and Savior, The Great Purple Ball. These words were dictated from His Holiness himself. In the beginning there was nothing, until the Purple Ball allowed it. With his purple-ness, he bounced and created the Earth, where his chosen people would be. With one, furious bounce, he created the sun. It took Him only twelve minutes, and he spent the other 6 days, 23 hours and 48 minutes bouncing along Earth, forming mountains and canyons and everything in between. On the eve of the sixth day, His Holiness created his chosen people. He created a great many of them, all different colors, heights, weights and sizes. He made them each have their own personalities, so they could all be even more different. He made men, he made women, he even made a mix of the two. He loves all of his children respectfully, and doesn't favor any single one more than another. He told his children: "Go Forth my children, and wander this vast world that I have created for you. Conquer this world, and spread my good faith. However, remember my demands: Thou Shalt Not Kill (Unless there art none other solution than violence), Be kind and courteous to all, even non-believers (and don't force me upon them), and finally, Conquer this world I created for you, and when thou hath conquered, go forth and conquer the rest. After creating His people, he created animals and insects and plants. Because he thought they were the bomb. The Purple Ball Chronicles Holy Book One: Genesis