Removed for Editing. Check back later
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Reply when done
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Did you edit it yet?
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Over all not bad at all. My only notes would be that you used the words "bullet ridden", "blue streaks" and "bullet" a loooooot. Maybe replace a few of those with different words. A little editing and you have yourself a great chapter. I'm looking forward to more!
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Over all not bad at all. My only notes would be that you used the words "bullet ridden", "blue streaks" and "bullet" a loooooot. Maybe replace a few of those with different words. A little editing and you have yourself a great chapter. I'm looking forward to more!