It would be a well tempered yet rather sarcastic / condescending walrus with an affinity for video games.
That is all.
Edit:
You know it's true, don't deny it.
[Edited on 11.15.2012 12:54 AM PST]
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All this got me thinking... Now that Bungie no longer is in charge of the Halo'verse, should HFCS be renamed to BFCS?