Cortana was siting ar0und on the broken half a ship thinking about how thinking was going to murder her. "Oh damn" she tought, "I am going to dei from thinking soo much." But then she realized "O WAIT I CAN WAKE MASTAR CHIEF FOR A QUEST"
John was asleeping and dreaming of how the five-legged catdogs of his homeworld wud fly at the moonlight before he herd a voice in cells "Chiefffffff....wake upp....[i]chiiiiiiieeeeeeeffffff[/i]...."
John's cell broke upen an his armor was changed to difrunt stuff tehn it was b4 and Cortana's hair was black. "JOHN THERE'S NO TIME TO EXPLAIN THE SHIP IS ASPLODING RUN AWAY NOW" So 177 picked up Cortna and put her in him throug the neral intrafacet and flied away into spaes.
"Oh crap" he toght, "now we r in spase with no way to get back to where we wer". John was sad and let his head hang down like a flaccid rooster pride. He was sadness.
But Cortana wuld not have her preshus Chief John 117 be destrohed by depreshun so she sed "Cheeif we r going to get u help, and I know how". She invaded his mind and made a special therapist room inside his head. "Okay John Im your therapist now, how do you feel?"
John laid back on the red cushioned couch and tought about all he felt, and it was much. "I feel both anger and rage, and I feel fat. It all started 100,000 years ago in my previous incarnation as the Didact..."