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10/4/2012 5:05:38 PM
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If you would like to be successful with the ladies

Listen up. OK, I see too many threads asking about girl advice, or talking about the "friend zone." What I have come to realize is that the Flood has no idea what to do when it comes to the matters of the opposite sex. Now, I haven't lied, I am probably in the top 5 oldest people here on this site. That means I have been around the block once or twice. So I have decided to give advice. 1) Attitude. This is the most important thing you can have. Noting can make or break a deal with the opposite sex quite as much as your attitude. People, not just women, like someone who is mature, sensitive and confident. Especially confident. No one likes the person who doubts their every move or hides from groups. Now, with females, confidence is nearly everything. You should be able to talk to someone without apologizing for your mere existence, and be able to state clearly what you want, how you plan to get it, and what you will do. No need to over do it. Taking this too far just makes you a douche, and no one likes those either. 2) Physical Appearance If you are too skinny, or overweight, that does not mean you are forever alone. But you should dress accordingly. No one wants to see your lack of biceps or front-butt in all its glory. So dress in a manner that compliments your body shape. As far as the style goes, I won't be giving advice. All I will say is that you dress as all of your peers do. Don't be the guy dressed all in black, or the one dressed like you are on your way to a rave. If you want to work out, that won't hurt your chances. Too many people here seem to think that being fit is the ONLY thing that matters. Well, they are wrong. Like males, females have wide and divergent tastes in men. They like them big, little, skinny, fat, buff etc... Think about it this way, Danny Devito gets laid... 3) Talking to them. A) The first approach. Guys never know what to say to a woman to break the ice. We've tried one liners, jokes, silly songs...nearly everything. What we haven't realized is that women are just like us. Approach her the way you would talk to a guy for the first time. Don't act like she's different. It will make you feel awkward, and then she feels awkward. Next thing you know, you are sitting there alone. Talk to her the way you would anyone else. B) The conversation. If you make it past the first few sentences, you are going to end up in the "getting to know you" talk. She is testing to see what kind of person you are, and you are doing the same. The difference is in how. She is reading your visual cues. That means your body language. So, do your best to be relaxed. Don't be nervous. Now, let her do most of the talking. Use "Active Listening." That means you let her do most of the talking, though you participate in the conversation. Nod, clarify points, agree or disagree as necessary. C) Asking for the date. OK, you've talked and listened. The event you are at is nearing the end...now what? Well, you will have to arrange for the next meeting. This is also the moment of truth if you were just someone to pass the time with, or if she's interested. Ask her how her time was, and follow up with a desire to do something like this again sometime. If she says she'd like that, ask her to go to something non-committal, and with friends if possible. Its a date, but don't make it seem like one. I prefer coffee with friends. It can be as short or long as you want, and you can have any number of people there. But anything usually works. Just don't make it too intimate. And NOT THE MOVIES. You don't interact, and its too "datish." 4) Now What? OK, so you did the first date, and she agreed to a second. Well, now you are dating. Have fun. Even at 37, and being married for 14 years, I'm still working out the whole "relationship" thing. Luckily so is my wife. So just let what happens happen. Now, about the "friend zone"... There is no such place. Say that you saw a woman you really liked and followed the above steps and she turned you down gently. She didn't say no, but there was no YES. Well, she said no, you just didn't catch it. If you want to be friends with her, fine. But you are the one making that call. She didn't put you in the friend zone, YOU did. My advice is to find another. Just move on. So, that's my bit. Feel free to add to it.
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#Offtopic #Flood

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] dambem OR... Try my way. Firstly, get a bucket of lime, this is very important later. also get a cat, a dog, a flying iguana and some sneezing powder. Step Two: make sure the flying iguana is eaten by the cat, which is eaten by the dog. Step Three: Find the nearest "Lady" and show them your cute little dog, apply sneezing powder Step Four: watch in awe as the dog sneezes out the cat which sneezes out the iguana which lands on her shoulder Step Five: Pour the limes all of yourself, make sure to squish them Step Six: Sexy Times.[/quote] Lmao xD

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  • I miss the days when you could just knock a woman out with a stick and drag her to your place. Now it's all about feelings and stuff.

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  • You forgot about financial stability.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] oaklandp8ntbalr [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Xanarxses [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] oaklandp8ntbalr [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Xanarxses [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] oaklandp8ntbalr it's all confidence. You only get confidence by trusting yourself. You can't trust yourself if you aren't happy with yourself. Go look in the mirror. Are you happy with the person you are? Are you comfortable with your appearance? Knowing this forum, you probably are not. So go do something about it. Dress differently. Pick a sport. Play the guitar. Work out.[/quote] What does appearance have to do with playing the guitar?[/quote] Self-image.[/quote] I don't get it.[/quote] It's how you view yourself. If you have a skill that you're proud of, you will look in the mirror and be happy, and therefore carry yourself with confidence.[/quote] yeah unnecessary fast reply xD It just feels weird knowing that so many people have confidence issues.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Xanarxses [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] oaklandp8ntbalr [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Xanarxses [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] oaklandp8ntbalr it's all confidence. You only get confidence by trusting yourself. You can't trust yourself if you aren't happy with yourself. Go look in the mirror. Are you happy with the person you are? Are you comfortable with your appearance? Knowing this forum, you probably are not. So go do something about it. Dress differently. Pick a sport. Play the guitar. Work out.[/quote] What does appearance have to do with playing the guitar?[/quote] Self-image.[/quote] I don't get it.[/quote] It's how you view yourself. If you have a skill that you're proud of, you will look in the mirror and be happy, and therefore carry yourself with confidence. (This is not focused at you, just speaking generally here) If you're ashamed of how you think you appear to other people, then you need to change your appearance and your self-image. [Edited on 10.05.2012 9:29 AM PDT]

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] oaklandp8ntbalr [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Xanarxses [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] oaklandp8ntbalr it's all confidence. You only get confidence by trusting yourself. You can't trust yourself if you aren't happy with yourself. Go look in the mirror. Are you happy with the person you are? Are you comfortable with your appearance? Knowing this forum, you probably are not. So go do something about it. Dress differently. Pick a sport. Play the guitar. Work out.[/quote] What does appearance have to do with playing the guitar?[/quote] Self-image. How you view yourself. If you have a skill that you're proud of, you will view yourself with more confidence.[/quote] I don't get it. EDIT: I guess that's fine. [Edited on 10.05.2012 9:26 AM PDT]

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Xanarxses [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] oaklandp8ntbalr it's all confidence. You only get confidence by trusting yourself. You can't trust yourself if you aren't happy with yourself. Go look in the mirror. Are you happy with the person you are? Are you comfortable with your appearance? Knowing this forum, you probably are not. So go do something about it. Dress differently. Pick a sport. Play the guitar. Work out.[/quote] What does appearance have to do with playing the guitar?[/quote] Self-image. [Edited on 10.05.2012 9:26 AM PDT]

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] oaklandp8ntbalr it's all confidence. You only get confidence by trusting yourself. You can't trust yourself if you aren't happy with yourself. Go look in the mirror. Are you happy with the person you are? Are you comfortable with your appearance? Knowing this forum, you probably are not. So go do something about it. Dress differently. Pick a sport. Play the guitar. Work out.[/quote] What does appearance have to do with playing the guitar?

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  • it's all confidence. You only get confidence by trusting yourself. You can't trust yourself if you aren't happy with yourself. Go look in the mirror. Are you happy with the person you are? Are you comfortable with your appearance? Knowing this forum, you probably are not. So go do something about it. Dress differently. Pick a sport. Play the guitar. Work out. [Edited on 10.05.2012 9:22 AM PDT]

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] MyNameIsCharlie [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Xanarxses well if you need a specific example to answer to that question then answer this one. Clarify the difference between unique and weird.[/quote]I can do that. Wearing a MLP shirt to class vs Dressing in Fluttershy gear from head to toe.[/quote] Are sure that's not both weird and unique? I mean... if it's unique it's probably also "weird" by society's standards

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Xanarxses well if you need a specific example to answer to that question then answer this one. Clarify the difference between unique and weird.[/quote]I can do that. Wearing a MLP shirt to class vs Dressing in Fluttershy gear from head to toe.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] MyNameIsCharlie [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Xanarxses [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] BlackHeaven [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Ancient_Peelo [quote]All I will say is that you dress as all of your peers do. Don't be the guy dressed all in black, or the one dressed like you are on your way to a rave.[/quote] I might be understanding this wrong or something, but that sounds like you're saying "be like everyone else, don't you dare to dress differently than others", which is really conflicting against the mindset "just be yourself", which the rest of your post implied. Either bad wording, or I'm thinking too much into it. No need to respond, really, because posts like these usually get me in arguments, and I don't like arguments. Also, my choice of words might be bad, because I'm tired.[/quote] He's saying don't dress in some bizarre way. Use the local fashion, and tweak it to what suits you best.[/quote] What qualifies as bizarre?[/quote] Well, that's up to the group that you are talking to. Would you talk to a girl that only dressed in zombie cosplay? (that may be a really bad example, but it was the best I could think of.) It just depends. There is a line between being unique and weird. Having your own style is a great thing, being bizarre is another. [/quote] well if you need a specific example to answer to that question then answer this one. Clarify the difference between unique and weird.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Xanarxses [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] BlackHeaven [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Ancient_Peelo [quote]All I will say is that you dress as all of your peers do. Don't be the guy dressed all in black, or the one dressed like you are on your way to a rave.[/quote] I might be understanding this wrong or something, but that sounds like you're saying "be like everyone else, don't you dare to dress differently than others", which is really conflicting against the mindset "just be yourself", which the rest of your post implied. Either bad wording, or I'm thinking too much into it. No need to respond, really, because posts like these usually get me in arguments, and I don't like arguments. Also, my choice of words might be bad, because I'm tired.[/quote] He's saying don't dress in some bizarre way. Use the local fashion, and tweak it to what suits you best.[/quote] What qualifies as bizarre?[/quote] Well, that's up to the group that you are talking to. Would you talk to a girl that only dressed in zombie cosplay? (that may be a really bad example, but it was the best I could think of.) It just depends. There is a line between being unique and weird. Having your own style is a great thing, being bizarre is another.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] BlackHeaven [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Ancient_Peelo [quote]All I will say is that you dress as all of your peers do. Don't be the guy dressed all in black, or the one dressed like you are on your way to a rave.[/quote] I might be understanding this wrong or something, but that sounds like you're saying "be like everyone else, don't you dare to dress differently than others", which is really conflicting against the mindset "just be yourself", which the rest of your post implied. Either bad wording, or I'm thinking too much into it. No need to respond, really, because posts like these usually get me in arguments, and I don't like arguments. Also, my choice of words might be bad, because I'm tired.[/quote] He's saying don't dress in some bizarre way. Use the local fashion, and tweak it to what suits you best.[/quote] What qualifies as bizarre?

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Ancient_Peelo [quote]All I will say is that you dress as all of your peers do. Don't be the guy dressed all in black, or the one dressed like you are on your way to a rave.[/quote] I might be understanding this wrong or something, but that sounds like you're saying "be like everyone else, don't you dare to dress differently than others", which is really conflicting against the mindset "just be yourself", which the rest of your post implied. Either bad wording, or I'm thinking too much into it. No need to respond, really, because posts like these usually get me in arguments, and I don't like arguments. Also, my choice of words might be bad, because I'm tired.[/quote] He's saying don't dress in some bizarre way. Use the local fashion, and tweak it to what suits you best.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Ancient_Peelo [quote]All I will say is that you dress as all of your peers do. Don't be the guy dressed all in black, or the one dressed like you are on your way to a rave.[/quote] I might be understanding this wrong or something, but that sounds like you're saying "be like everyone else, don't you dare to dress differently than others", which is really conflicting against the mindset "just be yourself", which the rest of your post implied. Either bad wording, or I'm thinking too much into it. No need to respond, really, because posts like these usually get me in arguments, and I don't like arguments. Also, my choice of words might be bad, because I'm tired.[/quote] oh, you got it all wrong. After you change yourself completely to society's standards. Then you become... yourself? I suppose? whatever that's worth.

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  • [quote]All I will say is that you dress as all of your peers do. Don't be the guy dressed all in black, or the one dressed like you are on your way to a rave.[/quote] I might be understanding this wrong or something, but that sounds like you're saying "be like everyone else, don't you dare to dress differently than others", which is really conflicting against the mindset "just be yourself", which the rest of your post implied. Either bad wording, or I'm thinking too much into it. No need to respond, really, because posts like these usually get me in arguments, and I don't like arguments. Also, my choice of words might be bad, because I'm tired.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] General Dripik [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] MyNameIsCharlie [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] General Dripik This thread assumes all women are the same. [/quote]No it doesn't. Not in the slightest. In fact, I say that they are different in the OP. But, no matter what, you have got to talk to them. You have to be somewhat confident. Sure some women are into the unconfident guys... But they are rare. And good luck finding them.I've given very vague and general advice. [/quote]Its the most clichéd line ever uttered by humans but if you want a lady friend the most important part is to be yourself. Pretending to be confident either makes you look pathetic or it will make you look like a douche. If you are naturally confident then go you. When I found I girl I liked I very simply walked over and talked to her. Next thing you know we were dating. Don't get me wrong there is no "bad" advice in this thread really confidence helps, dressing good helps, toning up helps but one thing I dislike is that you make it sound like you have to fill out a checklist before you talk to someone. [/quote] Its not a checklist, its more of a best practices list. Now, I never said to fake confidence. But you should go out and try to earn it for yourself. The only way to create confidence is to win a few. The only way to win a few is to get out there and try. That's all I am saying.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Xanarxses [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] masterlinus99 This is actually a really informative thread for the those who are not very succesful with ladies. Props Charlie.[/quote] I'd say that most of the things mentioned are just common knowledge. You must live under a rock if you don't know that.[/quote]Yes, well unfortunately, a majority of the people who frequent this site are less socially competent than the average person, given that the average person is out interacting in the real world rather than online. In short, it's useful as a starting point for people who need it.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] MyNameIsCharlie [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] General Dripik This thread assumes all women are the same. [/quote]No it doesn't. Not in the slightest. In fact, I say that they are different in the OP. But, no matter what, you have got to talk to them. You have to be somewhat confident. Sure some women are into the unconfident guys... But they are rare. And good luck finding them.I've given very vague and general advice. [/quote]Its the most clichéd line ever uttered by humans but if you want a lady friend the most important part is to be yourself. Pretending to be confident either makes you look pathetic or it will make you look like a douche. If you are naturally confident then go you. When I found I girl I liked I very simply walked over and talked to her. Next thing you know we were dating. Don't get me wrong there is no "bad" advice in this thread really confidence helps, dressing good helps, toning up helps but one thing I dislike is that you make it sound like you have to fill out a checklist before you talk to someone.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] theshadowstriker Alright guys, I have a predicament. There's this female. Shocking, right? Anyways, I liked her since Kindergarten, and tomorrow's our homecoming dance. Thing is, I ca n hardly talk to her without my heart thumping like a planet crashing into another planet that's having an earthquake. In space. What do?[/quote] Talk to her and ask her to the dance. If you have to, envision her as a 45-year-old fat bald man for the duration of the conversation. Whatever works.

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  • Good advice.

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  • Alright guys, I have a predicament. There's this female. Shocking, right? Anyways, I liked her since Kindergarten, and tomorrow's our homecoming dance. Thing is, I ca n hardly talk to her without my heart thumping like a planet crashing into another planet that's having an earthquake. In space. What do?

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  • Good advice. Thanks.

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  • Confidence is the most important part. Everything else is secondary. Master confidence above all else.

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  • Charlie, you're good for doing this, but the Flood isn't going to make much use of it. All of us who can get girls already do, and the rest won't.

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