You may recall that some time ago, an organization against our great government destroyed one of the greatest structures to ever be built. When it was destroyed, people from all over came together in mourning. After we honored those who died for no reason, we had only one thought on our minds: Revenge.
I am, of course, talking about the Death Star.
Be warned, what you're about to see may disturb you. As you can see from [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bSefSLaPFs&feature=related]this[/url] video, the Death Star was hit in its thermal exhaust port by two proton torpedoes, which supposedly traveled into the main port of the Death Star's primary weapon, destroying it. Or at least that's what Palpatine wants you to think.
The Empire has the largest navy the galaxy has ever seen. Palpatine constructed it it that way so that no one could ever appease the Empire. When you think of the Imperial Navy, what first comes to mind? A Star Destroyer of course. The blueprints and layout for this glorious ship can be seen [url=http://mitglied.multimania.de/STARWARS_Blueprints/1imperial_battleships/imperialsd.jpg]here[/url].
As seen in [url=http://www.stardestroyer.net/Empire/Tech/Beam/ISD_Cutaway.jpg]this[/url] image, the thermal exhaust port for the Star Destroyer is just below the Subsidiary Reactor. Just look at all of those automatic laser turrets defending it. Not only that, but the exhaust port is significantly smaller than the one that was on the Death Star. But here's the catch: The exhaust port on the Death Star was exerting the [b]same amount of ion exhaust as a Star Destroyer.[/b] So why make it bigger? So a proton torpedo can fit through it.
Notice the Death Stars destruction from the video before, then look at [url=http://mitglied.multimania.de/STARWARS_Blueprints/1imperial_battleships/death_star.jpg]this[/url] Death Star layout. You'll see that the thermal exhaust port is on the North side of the space station. As seen in [url=http://images.wikia.com/starwars/images/3/3f/Deathstar_blueprint.jpg
]this[/url] blueprint for the Death Star, the thermal exhaust port goes directly to the main reactor. However in most stations, exhaust ports had a series of chambers before reaching the main reactor. This fail-safe system would have prevented such a detonation. Why have a direct layout?
Additionally, the blueprints tell us that the main reactor is directly in the center of the station. Had two proton torpedoes hit it, the station would have [i]imploded[/i], not [i]exploded[/i]. Notice the hollow canisters are placed inside the main columns. These canisters are the perfect size for thermal detonators, used for demolition projects. Why put these here? Because the Death Star was a controlled demolition! The Empire placed explosives inside to make it look like the rebellion destroyed it! But we're smarter than that. We know only those controlled explosives could have caused an explosion rather than an implosion. Their is no way [i]one[/i] X-Wing fighter could take out that entire station, no way! Plus, how convenient is it that Darth Vader just so happens to be in a TIE Fighter when the whole thing goes down? Give me a break.
But why would Palpatine lie to us? He knew the rebellion was against the Empire, but he knew that sympathy would be generated for them within the Senate if he just attacked them. Then again, that didn't stop him from attacking the [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z33-qOXOWS4]Tantive IV[/url]. And so he destroyed the Death Star and convinced everyone that it was the rebellion, to get everyone on his side against the rebels. Then he could invade Hoth and supposedly take out the rebels, who all of a sudden have "weapons of mass destruction". Coincidentally, Hoth just happens to be rich in oil, a major necessity to the Empire.
Last week, a group of Bothan spies raided Palpatine's palace and discovered several bank statements and documents that prove Palpatine is [i]paying[/i] starship commanders who saw the Death Star blow to keep quiet. Nearly fifteen commanders, including Captain Needa are on the payroll. Many Bothans died to bring us this information. Why would he be doing this hmmm?
And what about the Jedi? Their peaceful religious teaching always promoted fair peace. But what did Palpatine do? He blamed this wonderful culture for trying to overthrow democracy and kills them! Palpatine is just killing anyone who opposes him!
Open your eyes people.
[Edited on 06.16.2011 8:54 PM PDT]
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tell me something I didn't know about the U.S. government
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This is my kind of satire.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] DoctorPsychology Oh go -blam!- yourself, the Jedi are nothing but a bunch of Empire haters. THEY waged war against us, we will kill them.[/quote] Wait a minute... the Empire was not made until the jedi were killed!
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I already knew that.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Spartan1065 He is the Chosen One, of whom the prophecy spoke. He is to bring balance to the Force.[/quote] Neva mindz [Edited on 06.16.2011 9:30 PM PDT]
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] MegaMuffin16 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] darthnazgul As a representative of the empire and the sith I can assure you this man is lying. And to prove it, I'll give you all [url=http://api.bbcgoodfood.com/furs/alias/goodfood-recipe/10339/440-400-0-7-2-79-96.jpg]cookies.[/url][/quote]You've been brainwashed by the Empire's propoganda. You're telling me that even with the force on his side, Palpatine can't find Luke Skywalker? We're talking about one guy. [b]One guy[/b], hiding out in some swamp in Dagobah.[/quote]He is the Chosen One, of whom the prophecy spoke. He is to bring balance to the Force.
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I enjoyed this until you tried to make the real life connections, because there are some things implied about a certain event that are simply ridiculous.
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Oh go -blam!- yourself, the Jedi are nothing but a bunch of Empire haters. THEY waged war against us, we will kill them.
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This is probably one of the greatest posts of all time.
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THIS IS SO BLAMING TRUE!!!!
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Xvise66 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] mscatherwood Edit: wait a second this thread is from two months ago... [/quote] No its from THREE months ago![/quote] Neither of you can count.
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Words of a -blam!-ing prophet
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You win a cookie.
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and what of this Vader character? I don't seem to trust him...
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It's clear to me you do not know what the word 'appease' means.
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I was ready to scream "illuminati!" but you sir are a genius.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] A Stolen Fruit This man speaks the truth.[/quote] Did you forget your tea?
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] mscatherwood Edit: wait a second this thread is from two months ago... [/quote] No its from THREE months ago!
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You believe this this propaganda... We the [url=http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Imperial_Commando_Special_Unit]Imperial Commandos [/url] have full faith in our government as should you. Edit: wait a second this thread is from two months ago... [Edited on 05.07.2011 8:23 AM PDT]
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d1iptus conspiracies are stupid!!!
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] CHOASAGENT Someone bumped a two month old thread.[/quote] [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzW_S6SdHvg]Relevant to Bump.[/url]
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Wow this thread is old... [Edited on 05.07.2011 8:06 AM PDT]
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Someone bumped a two month old thread.
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I was there. My CO was not high enough up in the chain of command to know what was going on. He saw some disturbance on the scanners near the reactor, and told me to check it out. When I get down there, there are a few masked figures. I asked them for identification, when they pulled their blasters on my. By the time a took them all down, the charges had been set. I ran out of their as fast a could, warning people along the way. They all thought I was crazy. Poor fools. I knew no one would believe me, so I took my TIE, and got the hell out of there. This man speaks the truth of Palpatine's atrocities.
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This is a very funny thread. You are ze funny gai, OP