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Boss of OWNAGE

Boss of OWNAGE

6/26/2010 4:02:16 PM
So, we all know Bungie has a plan right? Do we [i]really[/i] know what the plan is? Well, I finally found out. It involves a renegade Jimmy Johns employee. We [i]all[/i] know Bungie [b]loves[/b] Jimmy Johns. Well, The Jimmy Johns employee infiltrated the deep, secret ridden, cave that is Bungie Studios. What he found was definitely shocking. It started off as a normal day. Sun was shining bright, birds were chirping, Urk was typing, civilians blaming Stosh, and Jerome swinging away. A destined Jimmy Johns employee, we will call him Shishka, was cooking away a sandwich which would reveal the secret of the organization known to millions as "Bungie." Shishka hopped in his delivery car, and drove to his future. He showed the package to Jerome and passed the seemingly fail safe security. He was walking by the conference room located conveniently in the first room on the left. No one saw him. Lucky. Fate. He hid outside the room and eavesdropped on the secrets being unraveled inside that room. Prepare to be horrified. He ran to me... Stunned. He was pale. He heard things. He started talking. I grew frightened too. Here is his story... He was outside the room. He was hearing Joe Tung and Luke Smith talking. They were worried. Their plan was coming quicker than expected... But first, you know how the company name "Bungie" came around? You know they pun? No. You don't. I do. It turns out that Noah, yes the one that built the Ark, had bungie'd from the clouds onto a pre-made ark. Jason Jones made up this hilarious play on words... But it had a deeper meaning. Well, back to Shishka's story. The plan... "It happened" Joe exclaimed. "No! It couldn't have! We aren't ready!" Luke cried. "We have a plan" Joe reassured Luke. You may be asking... What happened?! Well, with some background research and some inside knowledge, I found it. While Urk was raiding the freezer, looking for some some Coddle. He slipped. And Ling-Lings jar fell off of the third shelf to the hard linoleum floor below. It shattered. Trying to be funny, Marty bet him $100.00 to drink the fluids off of the now soaked floor. Urk was having a good day, but he was short on money after spending it on the Highlander reenactment sign ups. So he pressed his lips to the floor, and vacuumed up the liquid, completely forgetting the commandments. Now, most of you don't know this but the destiny states: "[i]DANGER! Do not juxtapose Tijuana Mama with Ling Ling! When the jar containing Ling Ling finally breaks, as it must, Bungie will make a sequel to Gnop![/i]" So it began. Bungie planned to always make Gnop! 2. It would be made to fund the plan. But they weren't ready. It had to happen. So it started, they used technology far ahead of its time. Stuff better than the tools used in Halo: Reach. They worked day and night on Gnop! 2. They are still working on it now. "What are they trying to fund?" You might ask. Well, remember the "Bungie joke"? They are trying to create a second ark. One completely covered in septagons, because we all know only Bungie can be withing 5 feet of the septagon, let alone over 54,000 of them. Why are they building an ark? Simple, cleanse. Get rid of all the spam in the flood, all the people asking for Recon in the Halo 3 forum, and the people who want the BR in Reach. You may know this project as "[url=http://bungieaerospace.com/]Project Aerospace.[/url]" The latin of "Project Aerospace" describes it all. "Per Audacia Ad Astra" When translated to English, then Japanese to English 43 times, then to a rare form of Portugese, says the shocking story... "Flood the Earth, Build an Ark, Again." A bit more detail on the plans of the Ark. You know the weekly update? You know the seemingly "dead" animals? Porky? Space Squirrel? It's a cover up. People would question the missing critters. But if they were to "die"... Well. They are rounding up the creatures of rare existence to take with them. The Webmaster was long assigned to command the vessel. Power? The almighty Disembodied Soul. It is the perfect plan. But We learned. You might be worried. I don't blame you. Run. Run while you can. The plan is nearly completed. I haven't seen Shishka since the adventure. It's time I leave know also. More info: You may ask "Why septagons?" Well, remember that thread about the screw? What keeps wood together? Yeah. Screws. You know all the people who agreed it is the new name? They weren't just members. Forum Ninjas. What are ninjas? They hide things. They are good at what they do. What are they trying to hide? Bungie's games: The flood: Takes over other colonies, wiping them out. The covenant: The Ark of the Covenant? It was in the bible, so was Noah's Ark. Also, for all the people asking, I'm just calling my friend Shishka to protect his identity. [Edited on 07.01.2010 9:23 AM PDT]

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