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6/18/2004 10:23:02 AM
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Funniest "One Liner", do you have what it takes?
This thread is to see who can say the funniest one liners...
The only reward is the satisfaction that you are mega funny.
Lets see some funny One Liners!
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"can i play horse( the basketball game) with you"? says 6 year old kid " go gallop away" demands 13 year old. it was funnier when my friend said it. [Edited on 6/18/2004 2:52:24 AM]
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Keep it at least PG 13, people.
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Come'on, please people make these jokes clean. I don't want to upset the moderators ok. Sorry about that Shishka.
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wa are ya'll talkin about my dumb joke?
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It's kinda hard, because most one liners depend on context. So it's not funny on it's own, you have to hear the conversation. You know what I mean? But anyway, Family Guy has a ton of great one liners. "Why did the dinosaurs die out?" "Because you touch yourself at night."
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can't talk about one-liners without mentioning the king of one-liners. Bruce Campbell. the man's a genius. funniest sonofa-blam!- to ever grace the silver screen. hail to the king, baby.
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Hes ok,ugly but ok. and bubba-hot ep sucks. elvis is dead...he fell down a hill with a mummy on a wheelchair and got his rib snapped out of his side.not before he set the mummy on fire and saved the world...
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mexican: hey its low tide dont you have some relatives to pick up?
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Xeroh Hes ok,ugly but ok. and bubba-hot ep sucks.[/quote] dude, you're [i][b]INSANE[/b][/i]. bubba ho-tep is an amazing movie. and if you're going to spoil, have the good sense to say so first, eh? [Edited on 6/18/2004 8:52:10 AM]
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Here's one I use on my son when he is trying to stay up late and he asks "Would you tell me a story?" I respond - "Once upon a time - THE END"
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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch".
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You look like my neighbor, he's had his body completely covered in third degree burns, mauled by a bear, put through a paper shredder seventy-three time, slapped by a fish, and he's been dead for six years.
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"ggggggggjkii7iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiilllllllllllllllbbbvcopwww99\oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo"-My cat
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Ha. I haven't laughed so hard since I looked at your momma.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Ringer Here's one I use on my son when he is trying to stay up late and he asks "Would you tell me a story?" I respond - "Once upon a time - THE END"[/quote] Read to your kid you douche. Or hell grow up like you.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] tmone17 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Ringer Here's one I use on my son when he is trying to stay up late and he asks "Would you tell me a story?" I respond - "Once upon a time - THE END"[/quote] Read to your kid you douche. Or hell grow up like you.[/quote] Mind your business. He would do well if he grew up as I have.
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Why do Jewish men always die before their wives? They want to.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Ringer [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] tmone17 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Ringer Here's one I use on my son when he is trying to stay up late and he asks "Would you tell me a story?" I respond - "Once upon a time - THE END"[/quote] Read to your kid you douche. Or hell grow up like you.[/quote] Mind your business. He would do well if he grew up as I have.[/quote] Yeah.... You dont even read to you kid. Reeeeeeeal good.
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Being in the car with my grandparents. haha. Grandma: Harvey! Get gas! you will run out! Grandpa: We won't run out of gas. Grandma: GET GAS!!! Grandpa: [b]I'll get gas when you get off my ass!!!![/b]
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my face [Edited on 6/18/2004 11:13:51 AM]
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Don't take this one the wrong way... You know what's a joke? Women's rights.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] tmone17 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Ringer [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] tmone17 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Ringer Here's one I use on my son when he is trying to stay up late and he asks "Would you tell me a story?" I respond - "Once upon a time - THE END"[/quote] Read to your kid you douche. Or hell grow up like you.[/quote] Mind your business. He would do well if he grew up as I have.[/quote] Yeah.... You dont even read to you kid. Reeeeeeeal good.[/quote] Question: Where did you read that I don't read to my kid? I'm sure my kid has more books (that he knows by heart) than you have brain cells. Now if you had truly read this post you would understand this. Nowhere did I type that he asks me to "read" him a story. I wrote that he asks me to tell him a story. If you had the ability to reproduce and the authorities actually allowed such a travesty, you may one day have a child of your own and would understand entirely the theme of my statement. As you are undoubtedly still on the Food Nipple yourself, I can't believe it slipped past your massive arsenal of deduction. What I am saying is that kids (such as yourself) do whatever it takes to stay up late. So in summary I will try to explain this so even you pimply faced knowitalldogooderstudentcouncilhonorroll types can understand it. After reading him his 5 books (one for each year he has been alive) he then asks me to "tell" him a story. After an hour of Winnie the Pooh, Arthur and Grimm, I can barely keep my own eyes open. So I tell him "Okay, Once upon a time - THE END! Now go to sleep!" Are we clear?
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FOR SALE: Parachute,only used once, never been opened, small stain.
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You people play sports like a bunch of retards trying to hump doorknobs..
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teacher: Division is like carrying the pig over the hill to the slaughterhouse. student: Well why don't you just catapult the pig over since he'll die anyway? [Edited on 6/18/2004 9:59:07 PM]
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Weenie Head!
